W.I.N. Wednesday (On Thursday): The Danger of Boxes

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, Conversations not Debates, I recently listened to Tim Ferriss’ June 2020 podcast interview with Coach George Raveling.  George Raveling has experienced a great deal in his 82 years, is a voracious reader, a man of deep thought and deep insights, and a man of action. I wanted to share with you just a couple of the insights I took away from the interview.  I was going to post this next week, but decided it worked best paired closely with yesterday’s post. 

Insight: Stop putting people in boxes. The four walls restrict their ability to achieve their highest potential. 

My Thoughts:

This is not, “Thinking Outside the Box”. This is about breaking down the boxes we all tend to put people in. As I thought about this it became clear that we put people into many boxes. We start with big boxes based on race. Inside those boxes are smaller boxes based on the continent you live on, your country of origin, the country you live in (if it is different from your country of origin) and where you live in that country. There are smaller boxes for each of those groups based on language and dialects, religious beliefs, political affiliation, sexual preference, occupation, income, education (including where you went to school), socioeconomic status, employment status, relationship and marital status, if you have children and if so how many, type of vehicle you drive, type of home you live in, level of physical fitness, health conditions, type of phone, and computer preference. We seem to want to squeeze people into smaller and smaller boxes until we can squeeze them into a box that ticks off all those classifications. 

Instead of putting people in boxes what if we followed the advice of my friend and mentor Chip Huth who teaches that we need to see people as people. People who have their own hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations. People who have their own unique life experiences. People who have biases. People who have flaws. People who are doing the best they can. 

Seeing people as people does not require that we put them in a box. It eliminates the Us vs. Them beliefs and arguments. Seeing people as people makes it easier for us the have conversations instead of debates. 

Breaking down the walls of these boxes is not easy. They have been built up and fortified over our lifetime. Often our identity is based on the box we fit into. This is about me, not you. It is about I, not they. I need to start by slowing working to break down the walls of the box I have become comfortable in. It starts with me stepping back from the automatic tendency to put other people into a box. It is not about pointing fingers at anyone else and telling them to stop putting people in boxes. 

When we can start to break down the walls of the box world we have created and start the conversation with one other person, who previously would have been in a different box than us, then we can start to make progress. 

What’s Important Now? Start today. Be patient. Have compassion for yourself as well as others. 

I would encourage you to listen to this interview with George Raveling, at https://tim.blog/2020/06/08/coach-george-raveling/ and then I would encourage you to listen to the interview Tim Ferriss did with George Raveling in 2018 as there are a lot of gems in that interview as well. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Conversations not Debates

I recently listened to Tim Ferriss’ June 2020 podcast interview with Coach George Raveling.  George Raveling has experienced a great deal in his 82 years, is a voracious reader, a man of deep thought and deep insights, and a man of action. I wanted to share with you just a couple of the insights I took away from the interview.  I will share one this week and one next week. 

Insight: We need to have conversations not debates. 

My Thoughts: 

Debates are about each side trying to prove they are right.  In a debate there are declared winners and losers.  Some debates turn into yelling matches, with the seeming belief that whoever yells louder and longer, wins. That is not what we need right now, or at any time, if we want to achieve positive change. This comment by George Raveling made me realize that very often my tendency is to want to debate; to immediately talk about the facts, the research, the evidence without first having a conversation to acknowledge the other person’s feelings, beliefs and perceptions before having a conversation about the facts. 

What we need are conversations, dialogues and discussions. Conversations where people are not trying to outshout each other, but are willing to actually listen in an effort to gain understanding. Conversations where people are willing to have discussions about difficult topics without name-calling, finger pointing, threatening or blaming. Conversations about effecting change, not simply demanding that things change. 

These are conversations where everyone shows up with an open mind, a sense of humility and a sense of humor. 

Conversations where everyone is willing to ask and answer the question, “What piece of this do I own?” Conversations that seek to answer the questions, “Where do we go from here?” and “What’s the smallest change that could make the biggest difference?” These questions allow us to begin to craft a vision and identify small, but significant steps we can take immediately to move us forward to a better future. 

Debates would be an improvement from what we are seeing too much of these days. Debates however are not likely to bring us together and move us forward. Debates often force people to take sides pushing them further apart, rather than helping them come together. 

The conversations have to be person to person (even if they are over Skype or Zoom). Part of the current issue sadly is the ease of anonymity created by social media where people can attack, threaten and make very disparaging remarks without ever having to reveal their name or face. You can also have a conversation digitally. 

These conversations can take place between two people or in small groups (Following public health guidelines regarding COVID-19 if you are meeting in person.). You do not have to wait for someone else to organize something; you can reach out to one other person and start a conversation. The challenge with large groups is there tends to be one or two people who do all the talking, too often there is a lot of shouting, and seldom are there any meaningful conversations. 

I will share one other insight and my thoughts next week. If you want to listen to this interview with George Raveling, and I encourage you to do so, you can go to https://tim.blog/2020/06/08/coach-george-raveling/.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Be careful about “All are” statements.

It is easy to use the words all and are in a four-word sentence and in that statement label and even condemn an entire group of people. These statements are often based on profession, race, religion, sexual orientation, political affiliation or financial status. Below are examples of how “All are” statements start. Pay attention to the first word that pops into your head to finish the statement. 

All cops are __________.

All lawyers are __________. 

All journalists are __________.

All politicians are __________.

All Muslims are __________.

All Jews are __________.

All Christians are __________.

All Sikhs are __________.

All blacks are __________.

All whites are __________.

All Latinos are __________.

All Asians are __________.

All rich people are __________.

All poor people are __________.

All Americans are __________.

All Canadians are __________.

All immigrants are __________.

All men are __________.

All women are __________.

All Millennials are __________.

The list is far from comprehensive, but you get the point. 

In every one of those groups, every profession, every race and every religion there are racists, psychopaths, criminals, and haters. They are often a very small minority of those groups, but they tend to get the most media coverage and exposure.

The one word that would be appropriate at the end of every one of those statements is “human”. All __________ are human. 

Perhaps the only “All are” statement that might be accurate is “All humans are imperfect.” We all have flaws, faults and imperfections. We have implicit biases, which are a result of a multitude of factors, experiences and influences. (Biases are preferences and not all ‘good’ or ‘bad’.) We will all say stupid things, make countless mistakes, and make poor decisions in our lives. There will be many times where we let our emotions highjack our rational, logical brain. Some of those actions will have massive consequences; most of them will have minor consequences. 

“All are” statements are often born from deep-seated emotion, influenced by our biases, are often divisive and too often result in push back in the form of “No, you all are” statements. This is a downward spiral of labeling and blaming resulting is greater divides between groups. 

What’s Important Now? Be cautious of “All are” statements. Focus on the specific issue, behavior, action(s), and the decisions of the specific person without making global, inaccurate statements about everyone in the groups they may be part of. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: I am confused.

I’m confused.

My great grandparents worked for everything they got in their lives.

My grandparents lived through the depression and worked hard for everything they got in their lives.

My parents worked hard for everything their got in their lives.

My three siblings and I have worked hard for everything we have.

My two sons and their significant others have worked hard for everything they have.

None of us were handed anything. So I am confused about exactly what is the “privilege” some people would suggest I am supposed to feel bad about and that I should have to have to apologize for? 

Like millions of other people I have watched the video of the incident in Minneapolis involving the arrest, restraint and death of George Floyd. Other than the fact that the officer kneeling on George Floyd’s neck in the video was white and Mr. Floyd was black I am confused about what was said or done to make this a racially motivated or racist incident? I am in no way condoning the actions, inactions and decisions of the involved officers. People are right to be outraged by the actions and inactions of those four officers leading to the death of Mr. Floyd. I am just confused however, about how this went from being about the use of force and decision making of the involved officers to being about race. 

I am confused about how rioting, destroying and burning property, businesses, libraries, post offices homes and communities already suffering from COVID-19, and physically attacking citizens and the police in any way honours the memory of George Floyd. 

I am confused how burning down police stations, damaging and destroying police vehicles, attacking police officers with rocks, bottles, brick and Molotov cocktails, shooting police officers and killing police officers in cities around America honours Mr. Floyd and helps to enhance police – community relations.  

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King Jr.

I am confused by lack of outrage by community and civic leaders as their communities are destroyed by criminal activity. 

I am confused. 

I know my confusion will piss off some people who read this. Some will tell me, “Willis, you don’t understand.” And, they are right. I don’t understand. That is why I am confused. 

Some will say, “You are not confused, you are just an ignorant racist.” And I will be confused by that allegation.

Some will say, “You are a police apologist and want to justify excessive force by cops.” And I will be confused by that as I am in now way condoning the actions, inactions and decisions of the officers involved. 

Many of the people who read this will agree and share the same confusion. Some will be unwilling to agree out loud for fear of being labeled. 

Let’s take a breath, step back from the emotion and ask, “Is this true? If so how do we know it is true? What facts and evidence do we have to lead us to that conclusion?” 

What’s Important Now? Ignored behaviour is condoned behaviour. This applies to everyone. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Don’t rely on this because it doesn’t last.

Don’t rely on what because it doesn’t last? Motivation. Don’t rely on motivation because it doesn’t last. 

A lot of people are motivated to workout and eat healthy at the start of January. By the second or third week in January the motivation has faded for many and they are back to their old patterns of activity and eating. 

It is easy to be motivated to quit drinking when you are hung-over. Two days later when everyone is having a cold beer on the back deck the motivation tends to slip away. 

Right after dinner it is easy to be motivated to get up an hour earlier than usual the next morning to start your new workout routine. At 0430 the next morning when the alarm goes off that motivation may have already dissipated. 

It is easy to be motivated to start a daily or weekly blog when you see people like Seth Godin who are posting every day for years. It is a completely different matter to sit down every day and write whether you are feeling motivated or not.  

It is easy to be motivated to starting a podcast because all the experts say it is the thing to do and it looks and sounds pretty easy.  It is hard to keep up that motivation when you realize all the work that goes into finding people to interview or developing content to talk about every day or every week and that is in addition to the prep work before every podcast and the back end editing and other work that goes on after the interview. It can also be hard to maintain that motivation when you realize you are just one of millions of podcasts and that very few of them get the number of followers that Joe Rogan, John Lee Dumas, Jocko Willink, Pat Flynn and Tim Ferris do. 

It is easy to be motivated to wash your hands regularly in the middle of a pandemic. Time will tell how long that lasts.

Motivation is often fleeting. If you are going to rely on it to accomplish important tasks and goals it will likely let you down. You need to develop habits and rituals that for you are non-negotiable and not predicated on motivation; habits and rituals that you follow whether you feel motivated or not. 

What’s Important Now? Make sure you are clear on your ‘Why’ when building your habits and rituals. A strong ‘Why’ will keep you on track when motivation has waned. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Three Things

I wanted to share three things with you this morning that I have come across recently, which strike me as being very relevant in the world in which we now find ourselves. 

The first is an excerpt from one of the books I am currently reading, What Doesn't Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth by Stephen Joseph: 

“Psychologists now realize that it is naive to seek to live a life in which there is no sadness, and no misfortune, and hence that the pursuit of happiness must include learning how to live with, and learn from, adversity.”

The second is a quote from Rumi:

"Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?"

The last thing I wanted to share is a thought from Ryan Thacker:

NOT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK BUT SOME THINGS WILL 

What’s Important Now? Spend some time in reflection on these three things and see if you can find relevance for you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Do you practice what you preach?

The question some of you have, and a few of you have asked after last week’s post is, “How have you been impacted by the pandemic?” and “Do you practice what you preach Willis?” My answers are, “Yes, and I strive to.” 

Have I been impacted by COVID-19? Yes. My business as a contract trainer has come to a screeching halt with all the speaking engagements and classes I was scheduled to teach from mid-March until the end of August cancelled or postponed. I went from being on the road 2 to 3 weeks a month to being at home for at least 5 ½ months straight with no teaching or speaking income, which accounts for 95% of our company income. This is obviously not a good business model for a pandemic. I am fortunate that I have my pension so the business is not our only source of income. 

My wife has become a full time nanny for our 2½-year-old granddaughter. She lives at our son and daughter-in-law’s during the week and comes home on weekends.  Most of my two son’s businesses have been significantly impacted. 

Why do I say, “I strive to.” and not “Yes.” to the question about do I practice what I preach? Because I am human and as a result I have my good days and my not so good days, my really productive days and some days where the productivity is lacking. 

From a health and wellness perspective I am pretty consistent with working out for 30 to 60 minutes every morning, reading at least 60 minutes total every day, and getting in two 20 to 30 minute walks outside every day.  I am consistent with the time I go to bed at night and the time I get up in the morning always giving myself the opportunity for 8 hours of sleep a night. I also meditate for 15 minutes most days. 

As far as eating I consume all my food within a 7 to 8 hour window every day so I fast for 16 to 17 hours daily, I eat my last meal 3 to 4 hours before I go to bed and I eat healthy 99% of the time. We do not have any junk food in the house so there are no readily accessible temptations. If I want to eat out of frustration, or make unhealthy food choices when I am tired I have to order takeout or delivery, which I am usually too cheap and too lazy to do. I guess I could binge by having extra wild salmon, humanely raised chicken, grass fed beef, omega 3 eggs, or organic spinach, vegetables or blueberries. Usually the worst I do is have a few extra squares of 85% organic dark chocolate or occasionally a second glass of red wine. 

We do not have cable so I cannot watch TV. I shut down my Facebook page and do not do social media other than to post my two weekly blog posts on LinkedIn. The only COVID-19 media I generally consume is the daily press conference by Dr. Deena Hinshaw, our Provincial Chief Medical Officer of Health. Outside of that I will occasionally listen to a podcast interview with Dr. Peter Attia interviewing a world expert in infectious diseases. I intentionally watch webinars and listen to podcasts that have nothing to do with COVID-19.  I am a big fan of the author Michael Connelly and recently watched Season 6 of Bosch on Amazon Prime, limiting myself to one episode per day, and will do the same when the new season on Jack Ryan comes out. 

This is not meant as a “holier than thou” thing. With the support of my wife I have an environment that is set up to eliminate distractions and temptations and make it easier on me when I am tired and prone to making poor eating choices or to zone out watching TV, which is my biggest challenge on the road after a full day of teaching. 

I am more fortunate than many people in that I am used to working from home when I am not on the road, so I have routines in place for working from home. We had a home office in our house and when we moved into our condo 7 years ago we set up the second bedroom as a home office. I do not have any children at home who I have to keep on track with school work or keep entertained.  My personality is such that I am very comfortable spending time alone. I also prefer to work out at home and have done so for much of the last 16 years. As a result I have resistance bands, kettlebells, a TRX system and an X3 at home (all of that equipment fits into an area in the corner of my office about 2 feet by 3 feet) and have systems working out in the confines of our two bedroom condo so the closing of the gyms had little impact on me.  

How do I spend my time every day outside of my workouts, walks and reading?  Most weekdays I do some writing for my two blogs. Each week I conduct between one and six interviews for the Excellence in Training Academy and / or the ILEETA Learning Lab. Between the Excellence in Training Academyand the ILEETA Learning Lab I conduct 100 hour long interviews every year. The opportunity to interview 100 really smart people every year is a great learning tool for me. I spend time every day doing content creation. Currently I am working on converting my in person full day leadership workshop into an online program. I have also created two webinars, which will be available on a new platform soon. I am also creating webinars for the Excellence in Training Academy as well as a couple of other projects I have committed to. 

So, that’s it. That is a recap of my efforts in striving to practice what I preach.  The last 15 1/2 years of practice setting up systems to work from home since my retirement from the police department has certainly helped. 

What’s Important Now? Keep striving and have some self-compassion. We are all working our way through these challenging times. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Uncertainty, Risk and Action

Reading Austin Kleon’s recent blog led me to a great article in The Atlantic titled Two Errors Our Minds Make When Trying to Grasp the Pandemic by Arthur C. Brooks. One of those errors is confusing uncertainty with risk.  He explains, “Uncertainty involves unknown possible outcomes and thus unknowable probabilities. Risk involves known possible outcomes and probabilities that we can estimate.” Our problem, Brooks says, is that we try to turn uncertainty into risk by “gorging ourselves on available information.” 

He offers the following advice to counter that:

“Start by acknowledging that you do not know what is going to happen in this crisis. Next, distinguish between what can and can’t be known right now, and thus recognize that gorging on all the available information will not really resolve your knowledge deficit—you won’t be able to turn uncertainty into risk by spending more hours watching CNN, because the certainty you seek is not attainable. Finally, resolve that while you don’t know what will happen next week or next month, you do know that you are alive and well right now, and refuse to waste the gift of this day. (One more practical suggestion: Limit your consumption of news to half an hour in the morning, and stay off social media except to talk to friends. No cheating!)”

Great advice. 

Use this day to increase your skills through purposeful and deliberate practice. Use this day to learn a new skill or enhance your knowledge of a topic through one of the hundreds of online courses available through a variety of platforms.

Use this day to read or reread a non-fiction book and instead of just reading it, study it. Spend time reflecting on how to apply the insights, and how this information connects to other information you already know. Share your insights with a co-worker or other interested party and debate what you are learning. 

Use this day to study health related information and then take action on what you are learning. The co-morbidity factors that lead to increased risk from COVID-19 are hypertension, obesity, Type 2 diabetes and smoking / vaping. All of these are within our control through lifestyle choices such as what and when we eat, activity levels, getting adequate sleep and the use of stress management techniques. 

It bothers me when I hear people talk about the “COVID 15” as an expectation that people are going to automatically gain at least 15 pounds during the pandemic restrictions.  That is a choice, not a foregone conclusion.  You can make the choice to challenge yourself to come out of the pandemic lockdown healthier than before it started.  

This all ties back to what I have written about before: Simple versus Easy. Simple is a lack of complexity while Easy is a lack of effort. These strategies and suggestions are Simple, they are not Easy. They require commitment and effort every day. 

I know many of you are frustrated by the fact the gyms are closed and they may be among the last businesses to reopen. Below are links to two recent interviews I did for the Excellence in Training Academy, a membership site I have for law enforcement trainers. One is with strength coach Josh Bryant talking about body weight training and the other is with Dave Schmitz discussing resistance band training. Normally the interviews I do for the Excellence in Training Academy are only accessible in the Member’s Area. I am making an exception with these two interviews as I believe this information is of value to everyone and should be shared. 

Josh Bryant – Tactical Fitness Through Bodyweight Training

Dave Schmitz – Functional Training With Resistance Bands

Note: If you would like to join the Excellence in Training Academy, and gain access to over 230 interviews and 20 webinars (with new content added weekly) simply go to https://excellenceintrainingacademy.com. Use the code eitmonthfree to get the first month’s Individual, or Training Unit membership free. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Humility

“Humility is not denying your strengths. Humility is being honest about your weaknesses.”

Rick Warren

The above quote is important, as too often we seem to think that humility is just about our weaknesses. As a result we down play our strengths and push aside or brush off compliments. We need to be humble enough to be honest about our weaknesses and be willing to humbly say, “Thank you. I appreciate that.” when someone compliments us or acknowledges our strengths. 

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

Rick Warren

In my Dare to Be Great leadership workshop we talk about traits and characteristics of people who are great leaders, followers, teammates, role models, mentors and coaches. Humility is ultimately on people’s lists for many of those categories. Humility in great leaders, coaches, teammates and mentors is demonstrated by the philosophy of “Take the blame, and give away the credit.” They are willing to stand up and own up when something goes wrong, but are willing to give away the credit in all directions and shine the spotlight on others when there is success. 

During Dare to Be Great workshop we also examine the following quote from Jocko Willink, the co-author of Extreme Ownership and The Dichotomy of Leadership.

Total responsibility for failure is a difficult thing to accept, and taking ownership when things go wrong requires extraordinary humility and courage. But doing just that is an absolute necessity to learning, growing as a leader, and improving the team’s performance.

Jocko Willink, Extreme Ownership

It takes humility, courage and vulnerability for someone to stand up and admit their mistakes or failures. This is especially critical for leaders as it models the behavior for those they lead and creates a culture where responsibility, accountability, ownership, leadership, learning and growth can thrive. 

My three personal Core Values are Commitment, Curiosity and Humility and I strive to continually remind myself to Stay Committed, Curious and Humble.

What’s Important Now? Like yourself. Love yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Engage in the pursuit of excellence and Dare to Be Great while embracing humility. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday – Incomplete Advice

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."

George Bernard Shaw

This advice from George Bernard Shaw is well intentioned, but like so much advice glorifying mistakes and failure it is incomplete. A life spent making the same mistakes repeatedly or making mistakes and never learning from them is not honorable, it is foolish. 

Mistakes and failure can be tremendous opportunities to learn and grow, if you reflect on the mistakes and determine what changes need to be made to the effort or the process to ensure you learn, grow, improve and move forward. 

As I have written about before, mistakes and failure are not the keys to growth. Effort and Process committed to striving to learn, grow, improve and advance a cause or mission, is key. In the striving you will sometimes make mistakes or fail. When that happens you need to step back, examine the mistake or failure and ask, “What did I learn? What am I going to do differently moving forward to ensure growth and progress?” This will help ensure you do not simply repeat the mistakes of the past. 

“Experience is not the best teacher; Evaluated Experience is the best teacher.”

John Maxwell

What’s Important Now? Strive. Evaluate. Learn. Move forward. Repeat. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: You have more control than you might think.

In a recent webinar I was watching, the person leading the webinar stated that COVID-19 is something outside our control.  While I have a great deal of respect for the person who made the comment, I respectfully disagree. 

You may not have had any control over COVID-19 coming to your country, your state or province, or your community. You may not have had any control over the restrictions that have been put in place by various governmental organizations.  You may not have had any control over being laid off or having your business seriously impacted or even shut down. 

You do have control over your response. You do have control over your attitude. You have control how you interact with other customers and staff in the grocery store, pharmacy, Post Office or UPS store. 

If you find yourself with a lot of free time on your hands you have a choice about how you spend, waste or invest that time. You can mope around and complain how much this sucks or you can choose to Embrace the Suck, Look for the Good and Dare to Be Great. You can choose to play the victim role, or choose to model positive and productive behaviors. 

You can choose to spend all day in front of the television / computer / tablet / phone consuming a non-stop barrage of negative news and doom and gloom, or you can research a topic of interest to you that has nothing to do with COVID-19, listen to an educational podcast, take an online course, workout in your home, garage, or yard, get outside and walk (while maintaining physical distancing), read a book, write a book, take in and train a rescue dog, reach out to people you have not connected with for a while, or call a senior’s home and ask the staff to put you through to someone who never gets calls and never got visitors when people were still allowed to visit. 

Perhaps most importantly you have control over your compliance with the rules around physical distancing, restrictions on gatherings and requests to stay home as much as possible unless your are an essential business or service. You have a choice about following the health recommendations around washing your hands and limiting your exposure to potential contamination. Choosing to comply with these restrictions and recommendations will help reduce the spread and flatten the curve on this.  

I know it sucks, but you have a choice. You can choose to let the suck embrace you and destroy your physical and mental health, even if you do not contract COVID-19, or you can choose to Embrace the Suck, Look for the Good and Dare to Be Great. 

What’s Important Now? You have choices. Choices give you a measure of control. Choose well. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: The Process

"The process is really what you have to do day in and day out to be successful, we try to define the standard that we want everybody to sort of work toward, adhere to, and do it on a consistent basis...Being responsible for your own self-determination, having a positive attitude, having great work ethic, having discipline to be able to execute on a consistent basis, whatever it is you’re trying to do, those are the things that we try to focus on, and we don’t try to focus as much on the outcomes as we do on being all that you can be."

Nick Saban

You do not control outcomes. You do control Effort and Process. When you focus on Effort and Process you give yourself the greatest likelihood of having positive outcomes. 

Nick Saban, like all great coaches, focuses on Effort and Process with his players. He stresses to them to focus on this moment, this drill, this play. Their Effort in that moment is what they control. Following the Process is what they control. 

This is a time for all of us to focus on what we control. What we control is Effort, Process and Attitude. 

Worrying about an unknown and uncertain future does not serve you, but it will wear you down and wear you out. It will create fear. It will have a negative impact on your mental and physical wellbeing.

The anecdote to fear and worry is to focus on what you control and take action to advance your cause, your health, your knowledge, your wellbeing, your connections and your relationships. Action requires Effort. Productive action and Effort requires following a process. Consistency is more important that intensity. 

“Man has the capacity for pause between stimulus and response — he may choose among alternatives in responding. This is the taproot of individual freedom.”

Rollo May

Use that gap between stimulus and response to breathe, re-center yourself, and refocus on what you control. (This is probably a good time to turn off the news as well.) Then get back to work focusing on Effort and Process. The Effort and Process is part of the journey striving to improve your skills, knowledge, abilities, health, connections or relationships. This can be reading, spending time with your children, reaching out to a loved one, getting in some movement or exercise or refocusing on your work. 

If you are thinking to yourself that this advice is a little too simplistic remember Simple versus Easy. Simple is lack of complexity. Easy is a lack of effort. What I am advocating is Simple. It is not Easy. 

What’s Important Now? Focus on what you control. Effort. Process. Attitude. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Look for the helpers.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.””

Fred Rogers

I am not sure I ever thought I would be using quotes from Mr. Rogers, but this one struck me as a critical message in these challenging times. 

You can find the helpers in the usual places like health care workers (which includes the housekeeping staff who play a critical role in hospitals and other health care facilities), police, fire and EMS. 

I hope we are also realizing the critical role played by truck drivers, and people who work in grocery stores, warehouses, pharmacies, essential government offices, wine stores, hotels, post offices and UPS stores, cab drivers and restaurants who are still providing takeout and delivery. There are also those who still volunteer and work at food banks, homeless shelters and meals on wheels. Then there are the delivery drivers who are still delivering your Amazon packages and food from online grocery services. 

There are also the grandparents (like my wife Lynda) who have stepped up to look after their grandchildren now that daycares are shut down, the victim services advocates, the teachers who have scrambled to be able to deliver lessons online and the mental health counselors who are continuing to provide help to those in need. 

There are countless others I have neglected to mention who are only now being recognized for being “the helpers” and helping all of us to deal with the countless challenges we are facing these days. 

Make your own list, or use this post as your list, and find opportunities to say “Thank You” to all these helpers.

On the Isle of Crete they used to define a hero as, “A person of Relevance. Someone who is of magnificent use to those who need it, when they need it most.” 

What’s Important Now? The world today is full of Helpers and Heroes. Be sure to thank them for what they do.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: 9 concepts and quotes for you to ponder.

These are challenging times. We are all impacted and will all be “tested” in a variety of ways. Below are 9 concepts and quotes for you to ponder, share, discuss, debate and apply as you work to get through, and grow through those challenges.  As you do so remember the difference between Simple and Easy. Simple is the lack of complexity and Easy is the lack of effort. These may seem Simple, but they are not easy. 

You must retain unwavering faith that you can and will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, and that at the same time have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality.

The Stockdale Paradox

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”

Victor E. Frankl

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved."

Helen Keller

“For what then matters is to bear witness the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Victor E. Frankl

“Out of this capacity to experience a “gap” between self and world, between stimulus and response, man has developed his capacity to use symbols, to reason, and to speak in language. These are the unique ways in which mind expresses itself. Indeed I would define mental health as the capacity to be aware of the gap between stimulus and response, together with the capacity to use this gap constructively.”

Rollo May

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

Stephen R. Covey

“Man has the capacity for pause between stimulus and response — he may choose among alternatives in responding. This is the taproot of individual freedom.”

Rollo May

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance."

Bruce Barton

“Overwhelmingly, experts agree that resilience isn’t something you  have or you don’t.  It’s neither a state or a trait, but a process. Like officer safety, physical fitness, or sobriety, it’s something that requires a daily commitment and actions in furtherance of this commitment.”

Stephanie Conn PhD, Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel

What’s Important Now? Find ways to Embrace the Suck, Look for the Good and Dare to Be Great. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: A software update for your brain.

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers."

Charles William Eliot

In these times of self-isolation, self quarantine and social distancing reading can be a source of comfort, engagement, learning, growth, entertainment and escape. Books allow you to make connections with the quietest and most constant of friends, the wisest of counselors and the most patient of teachers without violating any of the social distancing recommendations.

I am not talking about getting caught up reading the constant streams of doom and gloom on your phone. I am talking about sitting down with one of those well written non-fiction books sitting in your virtual library or on your bookshelf, or picking up a great novel and sitting down to some quality reading. 

“Reading is like a software update for your brain.” 

James Clear

Read just 10 minutes every day from a non-fiction book and you will read at least 10 books a year. Read an hour a day from a non-fiction book and you will read at least one a week. 

For me 90 to 95 percent of the books I read in a year are non-fiction. My dad, who is a voracious reader, always used to ask me what I was reading and if I was reading for work or for pleasure. My answer to the “reading for work or pleasure” question was always yes to both. All the non-fiction books I read, I read for learning and growth. I read them to tap into the wisdom and experience of others and to gain a deeper understanding of topics of interest to me. I read them to challenge my thinking and assumptions. I read them to continually remind me of how much I do not know and still have yet to learn. I read them to create new connections to what I already know. I am continually seeking ways to apply that learning to my work. For me, that is a pleasurable experience. Every few months I hit a point where I need to read a fiction book from one of my go to fiction authors and that is a pleasurable experience as well. Now my dad simply asks, “What are you reading?”

These are challenging and uncertain times. For those of you in health care, first responders and others (Thank you to all of you for your service.), you may have very little or no free time. For others of us, we find ourselves with a lot of free time. It is easy to get caught up watching the 24 hour news coverage or get drawn into the social media rabbit hole. If you have free time then be sure to make time every day to read. 

What’s Important Now? Make time every day to do that software update for your brain, even if it is just ten minutes. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Words can inspire, thoughts can provoke, but...

"Words can inspire, thoughts can provoke, but only action truly brings you closer to your dreams."

Brad Sugars

This is the challenge for speakers, writers, trainers, podcasters and teachers. You strive to find words that will inspire the listeners and readers to take action to learn, grow, strive for greatness in their lives and contribute to a cause greater than themselves. You communicate thoughts and ideas you hope will provoke people to think, act, live, train and lead differently. 

You then transfer control to the participant, reader or listener. You cannot force people to learn or to take meaningful action on those words and thoughts. 

The challenge then to us, as the reader, listener, or student is to take meaningful action once control is transferred to us. Without action we will not improve ourselves, or our circumstance. Action needs to be deliberate and sustained over time. As James Clear says, “Consistency is more important than intensity.” It is the small consistent actions over time that will have the compound effect and the greatest potential for sustained forward progress. 

What’s Important Now? Growth is a team sport and we all play an important role. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Love yourself enough

"Love yourself enough to create an environment in your life that is conducive to the nourishment of your personal growth. Allow yourself to let go of the people, thoughts, and situations that poison your well-being."

Steve Maraboli

This is not always easy, but it is critical to your well-being and to your growth. 

What’s Important Now? Love yourself enough to let go of the people, thoughts, and situations that poison your well-being. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Fake it until you make it?

We have all heard the advice, “Fake it until you make it.” While the intent behind this advice is usually well intended, I think it is a flawed philosophy. 

Words have power and the words “fake it” cause me the most concern. If you are faking something it does not be real, authentic, truthful or sincere. Feeling like you are living a lie in an interaction, meeting or presentation is going to make you feel uncomfortable, which will be reflected in your body language and your self talk. Simply faking something is not going to get you to your goal or desired end state. In fact it may hold you back because you will continually feel like a fraud. 

What might be a better option? 

What if you combined the philosophies of Act As If with Believe It Until You Achieve It? Imagine your desired end state and how you will feel and act when you have achieved that state. Imagine what you need to learn to help you in that journey of growth. Imagine the small incremental action steps you need to commit to every day to continually move forward. Imagine the strengths you already have to help you achieve this goal. Imagine what a coach would be telling you every day to keep you on track, and be that coach for yourself. Believe that you have the ability and level of commitment necessary to accomplish that goal. Believe that you are the type of person who is willing to do the work to learn and grow. Then, with your thoughts and actions aligned, get to work. Act As If and Believe It Until You Achieve it.

While you are doing the work, and are still on the journey, be sure to celebrate the small wins and successes. Focus on W.I.N. – W.I.N.: What’s Important Now? - What is next? Pay attention to your self talk along the way and be your own success coach. 

What’s Important Now? Act As If and Believe It Until You Achieve It can make a powerful combination to help you on your journey in the pursuit of excellence. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: They screwed me over. I can’t just let that go.

How often do people spend their time, energy and efforts trying to get even with someone they feel has done them wrong? It may be a boss, a former romantic partner, a company, a co-worker or a host of other people.

“Time spent getting even would be better spent trying to get ahead.”  

Coach John Wooden

If you shared John Wooden’s quote with them they would likely comeback with something along the lines of, “Yeah. That is great. But, you don’t understand. They screwed me over. I can’t just let that go.”

It sucks that you got screwed over. And yes you can let it go. You can Embrace the Suck, Look for the Good and Dare to Be Great by spending your time working on getting ahead instead of getting even. 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”

Victor E. Frankl

“Getting even” is a myth and a black hole of back and forth tit for tat that never ends well for anyone. 

Is the advice to Embrace the Suck, Look for the Good and Dare to Be Great simple (lack of complexity)? Yes. Is it easy (lack of effort)? No. Is it far more beneficial for you mentally and physically? Yes. 

"Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head."

Esther Lederer, a.k.a. Ann Landers

What’s Important Now? There is no value in allowing squatters to live rent free in your head. Embrace – Look – Dare.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: What if?

What if you could accomplish that goal? What would you need to learn, what skills would you need, who else would you need on the team and what would be the first step?

What if it could work? What would that look and feel like?

What if you sought to live a life of service and significance instead of focusing on society’s arbitrary ideas of success?

What if you did what was right instead of what was popular, easy and expedient?

What if you spent 10 minutes every day reading nonfiction books?

What if you love your children unconditionally and supported them as they made their own way through life? 

What if you focused on What’s Important Now?

What if you chose to not accept yesterday’s definition of your best? 

What if you prioritized your rest and recovery? What could you accomplish? 

What if you focused on being Your Best instead of The Best?

What if as a leader you trained your people, provided guidelines and guardrails for your people and then trusted your people to make decisions and do the work?

What if you made training your Mind, Body and Craft a priority? 

It is too easy to get caught up in all the reasons “why not”; why something won’t work, why you do not have time, why you are not smart enough, why you are not in a position of influence, why you are not fit enough, why you are not a leader, or why people don’t understand your ‘unique’ circumstances. 

What if you shifted your thinking? What if shifting your thinking could positively impact your life? What if you could? What if you already are smart enough? What if you already are in a position of influence? What if leadership is not about rank, position and title and you already are in a position to lead? 

What’s Important Now? Ask “What if?” more often. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.winningmindtraining.com

Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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