W.I.N. Wednesday: Ask More - Tell Less

In my instructor development course Excellence in Training I teach  the key to effective debriefings is "Ask More - Tell Less". Asking questions of the participants about how they felt the exercise went, what they learned from the experience and what they would do differently next time to have a more desirable outcome is more effective in enhancing future behaviour than telling them what they did right, what they did wrong and what they need to do differently next time. 

As I pondered the question of what to write about this week it struck me that 'Ask More - Tell Less' may also be the key to leadership, parenting, relationships and success in life and one of the reasons I refer to What's Important Now? as life's most powerful question. 

Asking questions of people about their family, their interests and hobbies, their experiences, their successes, lessons learned from their past failures, their hopes and dreams, and their lives will give you insights into who they are as a person and will help to develop relationships, which are so critical in today's world. 

Why would asking be more effective than telling to accomplish tasks, get people to perform and achieve success? Buy in. When you ask people questions (and truly listen to the answer) it shows that you are interested in them as a person and in what they have to say. It demonstrates that you value their experience and knowledge. Great questions will cause people to pause, think and reflect and will often generate great answers and great solutions to problems. The solutions they generate will be their idea and we are all more invested in our own ideas than those being forced on us by others.  

What's Important Now? Strive to Ask More and Tell Less. You might be surprised at the results. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Enough Already.

(I know it is only Tuesday but, I had to get this off my chest.)

You have likely done it.

You may have been the target of it.

The time has come to say enough is enough - Stop Profession Profiling. 

It usually starts with the words:

• All lawyers,
• All salesmen,
• All CEO’s,
• All politicians
• All media people,
• All cops,

Enough already. It is inappropriate to lump all lawyers, politicians and members of the media into a single group and profile based on profession.

What has me incensed right now is the campaign by some politicians, special interest groups, athletes and people in the media to portray the men and women of law enforcement as racist thugs who are applying the law differently based on the color of your skin. They would like you to believe that “cops” are maliciously targeting and murdering young black men in America. All of this is crap.  

There are close to one million brave men and women in North America who have chosen to serve their community and their country by taking the oath, putting on a uniform and serving as law enforcement professionals. They put their lives on the line every day. More than 60,000 of them are assaulted every year, more than 100 of them die in the line of duty every year (113 so far in 2014), more than 150 of them will take their own lives every year, and thousands more will be injured (some permanently disabled) serving their communities.  

The people who are screaming the loudest are claiming law enforcement professionals consistently use 'racial profiling' as a tool to target certain members of society. These same people make global statements about "cops in America" and are disparaging one of the most demanding, challenging, honorable, complex and important professions in North America. They are guilty of Profession Profiling. Where is the outcry about this type of profiling? Where are the citizens, politicians, athletes and media people who need to stand up, speak up and stop this injustice?

It is time to stand up, speak up and put an end to Profession Profiling in America. The men and women of law enforcement (and every other profession) in North America deserve better. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Is this holding you back?

"We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present."  

Marianne Williamson

As I read this quote from Maryanne Williamson it struck me that for many of us "the love we're not extending in the present" is self love. In order to truly love others and accept the love of others you have to love yourself.

Listen to the way you talk. Listen to the way your friends family and co-workers talk. How many of us talk about the love we have for others, but we loath, not love, ourselves? 

Sit by yourself and say the following statements out loud:

• I love myself.
• I like myself.
• I feel good about who I am.
• I am proud of who I am.
• I am proud of all that I have accomplished and achieved.

How does that feel? 

If it feels real then make it a daily practice.

If it does not feel real then find a way to forgive yourself and set yourself free until it does feel real. You owe it to yourself and to those people in your life who love you. You can never truly embrace their love until you learn to love yourself. 

What's Important Now? Love yourself, like yourself and continue the journey to always be a little better tomorrow than you are today. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - They are Not Servants.

People who work in the service industry are not servants. They are people. People with dreams, hopes, families, fears, aspirations and with a willingness to work in a field where they provide valuable services to us. 

Instead of treating these people with contempt, and taking them for granted please treat them with respect. They do valuable work. Often work you would not do, but work you want done. 

Get off you phone when you are talking to them. If the call is really that important then take the call elsewhere first. Look at them when you talk to them. Call them by name (that is why they wear a name tag). Smile. Ask how their day is going and listen to the answer. Say please and thank you. Thank them for their service. Let them know you are grateful for the important work they do. Tip them when appropriate. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - It's all about attitude.

"I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me." 

Charles Swindoll

What's Important Now? - Your attitude. Not much else to say. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - It's simple. Just quit.

In my presentations on The Pursuit of Personal Excellence I talk about the concept of Simple versus Easy. I define Simple as the lack of complexity and Easy as the lack of effort. In the following quote Thomas Watson breaks the path to excellence down to its simplest strategy: 

"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work."

Thomas J. Watson 

Take a few moments and reflect on your life. Where are you doing less than excellent work?

Now ask yourself why? It is a lack of effort? Is it your attitude towards the project, the people or the mission?  Is fear (of success, failure, change, or the unknown) getting in the way?

What's Important Now? - Once you have answered the above questions then simply follow Watson's advice and quit doing less-than-excellent work. It's simple, but it is not easy. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Pause damn it. Be happy.

"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."

 Guillaume Apollinaire 

How often do we get so caught up in the pursuit that we fail to pause and enjoy what we have? Whether it is the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of excellence or the pursuit of significance when was the last time you paused to reflect, celebrate and enjoy?

We have so much to celebrate in our lives and our workplaces but, do we ever pause to celebrate?

We have all accomplished so much and have had so many successes on the journey but, do we ever pause to reflect of what we have accomplished or do we simply stay focused on what we have yet to accomplish?

At the end of every day do you consume yourself with tomorrow's 'to do' list and forget to pause and create today's 'I did' list fist?

Are you so locked into the pursuit of happiness that you forget to be happy? 

What's Important Now? - Take time today and pause. Pause to reflect, to celebrate, to be grateful and to just be happy. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - They screamed; I smiled.

Normally the sounds of kids screaming on a Sunday afternoon while I am trying to read does not make me smile. This was different. 

In the green space outside the balcony of our condo are two large mounds of dirt. These dirt hills have been there since we moved in. Over time some of the kids in the neighbourhood have begun to use them to enhance their BMX bicycle skills. The size of the hills attracts kids that I would guess to be 8 to 12 years old. 

This past weekend I was sitting in my living room reading Courage: The Backbone of Leadership by Gus Lee. It was a beautiful day so I had all the windows open. I heard the screams of the kids from the hills and it made me smile. Why?

They were screams of joy, excitement and accomplishment. The kids who come to the hills are all wearing helmets (safety is important) and they all have growth mindsets when it comes to their biking skills. They spend hours riding down the bigger of the two hills gathering enough courage and speed to make it up the next mound and launch their bike into the air for a brief second. They then turn around and ride back up the first hill if they can. Some of them have to get off their bikes half way up and push their bikes the rest of the way up the hill. They keep working at this too until they can ride all the way up. 

These kids are willing to put in the time and effort to get better. They are willing to take a risk. They celebrate their small successes. They are physically active. They are having fun. They are spending time with people who support their dreams and goals and who will help build their competence and confidence.

These kids are learning and living valuable life skills and that makes me smile.

What's Important Now? - Develop a growth mindset. Put in the work. Be willing to take a risk. Celebrate your small successes. Have fun. Hang out with other growth minded people. Keep asking Life's Most Powerful Question. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - What will matter.

Today I would like to simply share a powerful piece written by Michael Josephson that was recently sent to me by a friend and mentor. Read it a few times this week and reflect on your life. 

What Will Matter 

Michael Josephson

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days. All things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else. 

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. 

So too your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire. 

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived, at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant. 

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; 
Not what you got, but how you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance. 
What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character. 
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter are not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you. 
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - When bad things happen

"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have-life itself."

Walter Inglis Anderson 

Bad things are going to happen to you. It is part of life. 'Bad' however, is all relative. The bad thing may be a business deal gone bad, or a relationship gone bad. It may be an illness or is ease, the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one or something else 'bad' that happened to you. This morning when I sat down to write this week's W.I.N. Wednesday message I read the above quote from Walter Anderson and it caused me to pause and reflect and put my 'bad things' in perspective. 

Last week was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. We were running a law enforcement conference in Calgary when those attacks happened in 2001. Among those in attendance were a retired NYPD officer and two serving members of the NYPD. They lost close friends that day and had they been in New York the two serving members very likely would have been among the police officers who responded to the Towers that morning. Among the thousands who died that day were 71 police officers, 343 firefighters, and 15 EMS personnel. There have also been at least 84 firefighters and 62 police officers who have succumbed to 9/11-related illness since September 11, 2001.  Since that day thousands of men and women serving in our militaries have died in the war on terror and tens of thousands have been injured. Those attacks were a defining moment for the City of New York and for people around the world.

I am proud to have served as a law enforcement officer in Calgary, Alberta for 25 years. For the ten years since my retirement I have strived to continue to serve the law enforcement profession as a trainer. In my travels I have the honour and privilege of meeting some amazing officers who have suffered serious injuries and yet maintain positive attitudes and continue to serve the profession, their agencies and their communities. 

I know two law enforcement officers who have been shot in the face and lost an eye. Mike and Tim both have a positive attitude towards life and continue to serve their agencies and their communities. I know another officer who had her leg amputated below the knee as a result of getting shot. She too continues to serve her agency and her community and at one of my conferences Laurie made the comment, "I have gained more than I have lost from this experience." I know two others who had the humerus bone in their upper arm shattered by a bullet from a violent criminal. Neither Marcus or Patrick have been able to return to an operational capacity, but both have an amazing attitude and continue to serve as trainers sharing lessons learned from their experience and making other officers safer and better prepared. Another law enforcement professional I know seriously injured his back during an arrest of a fleeing suspect. The resulting injury ended his career as a law enforcement officer and causes him to live with extreme discomfort on a daily basis. Yet, Richard maintains an amazing attitude and has dedicated his life to paying it forward to the law enforcement profession he loves by teaching at a community college and inspiring the future generation of law enforcement. Earlier this year I met an officer who suffered a spinal cord injury in an on duty traffic collision and is confined to a wheelchair. Santos continues to proudly wear the uniform of his agency and serve his department and his community. Another officer I know was shot 17 times responding to a shooting in progress. While the injuries forced Brian to retire from his department, he continues to serve the law enforcement community though his work as a trainer and body armour advocate. 

Each of these officer's response to their situation has defined their character and the quality of their life. Each of them inspires me to check my attitude when 'bad' stuff happens to me. 

As W. Mitchell says, "It is not what happens to you. Its what you do about it." He goes on to say, "People don't need a pep talk. They need a new perspective."

What's Important Now? - How do you respond when bad stuff happens to you? How are you going to respond in the future when bad things happen? 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Do what you love, or love what you do?

 I have previously shared wisdom from Seth Godin, one of my favourite bloggers. Here is another gem from Godin:

Turning passion on its head

Instead of, "do what you love," perhaps the more effective mantra for the entrepreneur, the linchpin and maker of change might be, "love what you do."

If we can fall in love with serving people, creating value, solving problems, building valuable connections and doing work that matters, it makes it far more likely we're going to do important work.

I am all for doing what you love. What concerns me are the number of people I see who appear to hate what they do. Many of them spend a lot of time wishing they could find a job "doing what they love". If they embraced Godin's advice they may find they already have that 'dream job'.

Doing what you love is great but, it is also a lot of work. One of the biggest myths we have been fed is, "If you do what you love you will never have to work another day in your life." That may be true if you want to be mediocre at what you love doing. If however, you want to be excellent at what you love (so you can have the greatest impact on those you serve) it is a lot of work. There are days you will be frustrated, days you don't seem to love it any more, and days you want to do something different. On those days it is important to embrace the 'love what you do' philosophy. 

There will be many more days however, where you are exhausted at the end of the day, but have a huge smile on your face because you know, "Today I made a difference." 

What I love doing is teaching. When I am on the stage or in the classroom I am often 'in the zone'. I also have the opportunity to teach through my three blogs (W.I.N., Excellence in Training and am i that man?), articles I write for various platforms and through the am I that man? Podcast we will be launching this fall. The actual teaching part however, makes up a small percentage of how I spend my time many weeks. I spend a lot of time studying more effective ways to communicate and teach, researching new material for blog posts and presentations, responding to requests and questions, developing new presentations, fine tuning current presentations, editing my writing, rewriting posts and articles, editing podcasts, learning how to use and better use technology, reading a variety of books and articles to enhance my knowledge, spark my imagination and get new ideas for training, and listening to podcasts to learn about business, life and training. I also spend a considerable amount of time travelling to and from teaching engagements (flying over 100,000 mile per year and sometimes travelling two days to deliver a 1 to 4 hour presentation), setting up and tearing down at events, and a variety of other logistical aspects  that are part of being a professional speaker and trainer. I also have responsibilities to ILEETA for whom I proudly serve as the Deputy Executive Director. On top of all that I am a husband, father, son, and brother. 

What's Important Now? - Follow the sage advice from Seth Godin and "fall in love with serving people, creating value, solving problems, building valuable connections and doing work that matters". When you do you may just end up doing what you love. At the very least you will do important work and make a difference in people's lives. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Get your head out of your........

Get your head out of your...........phone.

When you are driving, get your head out of your phone. Regardless of what the laws in your jurisdiction are regarding talking on a cell phone and driving or texting and driving, these are are extremely dangerous behaviors. How dangerous? The following information is from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the US:

• In 2011, 3,331 people were killed in crashes involving a distracted driver, compared to 3,267 in 2010. An additional, 387,000 people were injured in motor vehicle crashes involving a distracted driver in 2011, compared to 416,000 people injured in 2010.
• In 2010, nearly one in five crashes (18%) in which someone was injured involved distracted driving.
• In June 2011, more than 196 billion text messages were sent or received in the US, up nearly 50% from June 2009.

When you are walking down the sidewalk, or through an airport, get your head out of your phone. If that e-mail or text is really that important then pull over (just like your vehicle) and deal with it. While injuries from distracted driving are generally more serious, research suggests injuries from distracted walking occur more often. It is also disrespectful to other people, and potentially dangerous, when you run into them because you have your head buried in your phone. 

When you are having a face to face conversation with someone, get your head out of your phone. Unless you are doing something on your phone that has direct relevance to the conversation stop insulting the other person by checking your e-mail, Facebook and Twitter during the conversation. It is disrespectful. If you do not have time for them at that moment then let them know and get together another time. 

The research is very clear on this - we are incapable of multi tasking. Yes, that includes you. You do not multi task, you task switch. While engaged in many of these activities you experience in attentional blindness, meaning you basically become blind to things in the environment you are not attending to. As a result you miss important things in the environment and you piss other people off. 

What's Important Now? - Get your head out of your butt and out of your phone. Pay attention to the world around you. We will all be safer and feel more respected as a result. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Changing humanity. Where to start?

"Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself."

  Leo Tolstoy

We want to change the world. We want to change humanity. We want to change our organizations. We want to change our teams. We want to change our relationships. We want to change our circumstances. But, we are often unwilling to change ourselves. Why? Because in our mind we are not the problem; everyone else is. 

If change is necessary, which it often is, start by asking yourself, "What piece of this do I own?" 

The next step is to ask yourself, "In what ways do I need to change myself in order to start the change I want to se in ______________ (the world, humanity, my organization, my relationships, my life). 

Gandhi advised us to be the change you want to see in the world. I am going to challenge you to be the change you want to see in your organization, in humanity, in the world and start by changing yourself. 

That change starts with asking yourself:

• Who are the five people I spend the most time with in my life, and in what ways are they influencing me?
• What am I reading?
• What am I listening to?
• How am I growing each day?
• What am I doing today so I can ensure I am better tomorrow than I am today?  
• Am I looking after my body by getting exercise every day, getting enough sleep and eating healthy foods?
• What did I do today to intentionally invest in the lives of other people?
• In what way did I leave my organization better off today as a result of my efforts? 
• How am I modelling the change i wish to see?

Too often we are told that 'I' is somehow a selfish word. Meaningful change however, needs to start with 'I'. It needs to start with looking inward. It needs to start with you. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - You can't reach out with folded arms.

Technology guru and Hall of Fame speaker Terry Brock wrote a recent post titled 10 Steps to Learn New Technology Faster. While there is great value in the full list, the first point struck me as a gold mine:

#1 -- Have an open mind

This is critical for starting. You can't reach out with folded arms. Change your thinking from "I can't do that" to "I'll figure out a way to make that happen." I like to call this moving from "No Way to Not Yet" thinking. Instead of telling yourself why you can't do it, tell yourself you might not be able to do it yet, but you're willing pay the price. Take courses, hire professionals, read books, watch educational videos, and do whatever is necessary to learn new skills that help you. This is your critical first step to get ahead.

I believe an open mind is critical to your success in relationships, leadership, training, coaching, business and life. I often use the quote, "The mind is like a parachute; it works best when it is open." It is easy however, to think that you have all the answers, or to think that because you are the boss or the parent that you are supposed to have all the answers.

The only way to grow is to open your mind to new ideas. Sometimes all you need to do is ask those around you what they think, or what new and creative ways they imagine for solving the problem. If you are going to ask the question, make sure you are open to the answers. I have seen too many people that ask the question to give the appearance of being open, but immediately shut down all suggestions for new ways of doing business.

In your organization ask for input from the people on the front lines. If you are a trainer, ask for input from the people you are training. If you are a parent, ask for input from your children. 

Read books, listen to podcasts and attend webinars from outside your industry to get fresh perspectives and ideas. 

I love Terry's line "You can't reach out with folded arms." Not only is it a powerful adage, it is a powerful image. As I read that line the image that came to mind was of someone standing defiantly, with crossed arms and a scowl on his face, sending a clear message that what I had to contribute was of no value. I have encountered these people my entire life, and sadly at times have been that person.

When Terry talked about changing your thinking from "I can't do that" to "I'll figure out a way to make that happen" I immediately thought of my sons Jesse and Cody and their growth mindsets and entrepreneurial spirit.

When you develop the skills Terry outlines in "Have an open mind" you will become a powerful role model for the people you lead, coach and mentor and for your children.

What's Important Now? Spend time today in reflection by reading that one paragraph by Terry Brock a number of times and pull something new from it every time you read it. Use it as a guide to help you on your journey in the pursuit of personal excellence.

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Do we really hate change?

In my seminars on the Pursuit of Personal Excellence and What's Important Now? I talk about change and people's resistance to change. I even use the following quote:

Most people hate two things:

1. They hate change.
2. And, they hate the way things are.

In a recent Gapingvoid Art blog post Hugh MacLeod put a new spin on resistance to change for me. MacLeod says, "People don't resist change. They resist being changed…..People want guidance - they don't want to feel controlled." 

A powerful insight into the resistance around change. When you view the resistance from this perspective you realize that in order to effect a cultural change in an organization it is critical to provide people with tools, strategies, tactics, goals, and a clear understanding of the 'Why'.  (Watch Simon Sinek's TED talk How Great Leaders Inspire Action, Simon Sinek for an explanation of the importance of starting with 'Why'.)

One of the simplest and most effective change tools you can give people is an understanding of Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now? Embracing the power of this simple question allows you to gain greater clarify regarding the choices, challenges and decisions facing you every day. You will very quickly be able to determine what is really a priority and then reestablish focus and commitment to what is important. I am continually amazed at the stories and feedback I receive from people regarding how they have applied this simple, but powerful question to inspire excellence in both themselves and others. 

What's Important Now? - Embrace Life's Most Powerful Question. Make it part of your life and your success rituals, and share it with others in your life. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

Contact me at winningmind@mac.com to arrange for me to speak to your team,  your organization or at your next conference. 

www.winningmindtraining.com

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

www.amithatman.com

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - 4 Questions to clarify your priorities.

Last week I talked about the myth of work / life balance and suggested it is not about balance, it is about focus and priorities. 

The challenge then is to make sure you are very clear about your priorities in life. How can you be sure what they are? What can you do to get the clarity you need?

Here are four questions to help you clarify the priorities in your life:

1. If you knew with 100 % certainty that you only had one year left to live, what would you do?

2. If you knew with 100 % certainty that you only had 6 months left to live, what would you do?

3. If you knew with 100 % certainty that you only had one month left to live, what would you do?

4. If you knew with 100 % certainty that you only had 24 hours left to live, what would you do?

What would you do? Who would you call? Who would you forgive? Who would you ask forgiveness from? Who would you tell that you love them? 

What's Important Now? - Do those things now. Forgive those people, starting with yourself. Tell those people you love them, starting with yourself. Make those calls.

None of us know when the moment of our death will be. Live your life so when that moment comes you have no regrets because you understood your priorities, focused on them and lived a life that reflected them. That's What's Important Now?  

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - The myth of Work - Life balance.

I continually hear people talk about the important of Work - Life balance and the need to get more balance in their life. 

I find it interesting that we refer to work, which occupies 40 to 60 hours out of most people's week, as separate somehow from our life. If you have a job then work is part of your life. The stage of life you are at, and the type of work you do (work at an office, work from home, work on your education, work on your health, etc) will determine how big a part of your life work actually is. 

According to www.dictionary.com the definition of balance is: a state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.

If you spend 40 to 60 hours a week at work and another 5 to 10 hours a week commuting to and from your place of employment, you cannot spend an equal amount of time in hobbies and with your children and with your spouse and volunteering and coaching youth sports and….. well you get the point. 

It is not about balance. It is about focus and priorities. It's about What's Important Now?

What's Important Now? - Determine who and what are the priorities in your life. 

What's Important Now? - Become aware of where your focus and energy is when you are at work.

What's Important Now? - Become aware of where your focus and energy is when you are with your family.

What's Important Now? - Become aware of where your focus and energy is when you are reading a great book or out on the golf course with friends?

If your focus and energy are not on the task at hand, or on the people you are with, there is an issue you need to address. It is not about balance, it is about focus and priorities. That feeling of dissonance you experience when you are one place and your focus is elsewhere because you are feeling guilty should tell you that your focus, priorities and energy are misaligned. 

Stop seeking balance. Instead use Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now? - to guide your decisions and keep your focus and energy on what is truly important. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

Contact me at winningmind@mac.com to arrange for me to speak to your team,  your organization or at your next conference. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - The courage to quit.

"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak.. sometimes it means you are strong enough to let go."

Unknown

Within the National Speakers Association one of the most talked about keynote presentations was one delivered by Joe Calloway at an NSA conference about ten years ago. The topic of that presentation was, "What do you need to let go of?" Joe challenged everyone in the audience to become aware of what they were holding on to that no longer best served them or their clients, and then let go of those things. For speakers that may be old speeches, old PowerPoint slide decks or old products.  

I had heard about this talk for years and when I finally watched the video of that presentation it had a profound impact on me. One of the questions Joe asked that resonated with me was, "What are you good at, that you feel trapped by?" That question made me realize that regardless how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise, if we feel trapped we will never be truly great in that area, never do our best work and as a result fail to best serve our audience. Watching that presentation caused to pause and think about what I needed to let go of, to give up on, to quit. It made me realize what I felt trapped by that I needed to stop doing. As a result I made the decision to step away from some of the seminars and presentations I was delivering. When clients called, I let them know I was no longer providing that training and recommended other speakers and trainers who could best serve their needs. As hard as it was to walk away from that income it brought a powerful sense of freedom. I have since used this strategy in other areas of my personal and professional life. 

What about you? what do you need to give up on? What do you need to let go of? What do you need to quit? What are you good at that you feel trapped by? 

Is it a job? Is it the excuses you make about why you don't eat better, exercise regularly or get enough sleep? Is it the stories you tell yourself to justify spending too much time at work and not enough with your family? Is it a relationship? Is it outdated ways of thinking? is it the way you treat other people? Is it your spending habits? 

Being a quitter has a negative connotation in our society. However, as pointed out in the opening quote, sometimes it takes great strength and courage to quit and walk away. Joe Calloway inspired those who heard his message to have the courage to let go. 

Ask yourself Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now? 

What's Important Now? Determine what you need to let go of, what you need to quit in your life. 

What's Important Now? Find the courage within you to walk away from the thoughts, behaviours and habits that are getting in the way of your pursuit of personal excellence.

What's Important Now? Allow yourself to feel good about the choices you made and the actions you took. Celebrate having the courage to quit.  

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

Contact me at winningmind@mac.com to arrange for me to speak to your team,  your organization or at your next conference. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - I don't care how you are. It is just something I say.

How are you? 

How many times have you asked that question or some version of it? How many times have you been asked the question?

How many times have you actually listened to the answer? When I say listened, I do not mean just the words, but the tone, the inflection, the emotion behind what is said, or perhaps more important, what is not said.

For many people "How are you?" has become just words that flow from their lips without thought and without concern for the response. 

We should really stop the charade and just say, "I really don't care how you are or how you are feeling but I am going to ask anyways to appear to be polite so don't feel bad if I do not appear to be paying attention to the answer. After a trite response please feel free to ask me the same question and not care about the answer either." How are you? is just so much easier.

What's Important Now? - If you are going to ask the question then pause and truly listen to the answer. If you sense something is wrong or troubling the person take the time to ask followup questions. You might just be surprised at people's reactions when they realize you actually care how they are.

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

Contact me at winningmind@mac.com if you would like to have me speak to your team,  your organization or at your conference. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Lessons From Life's Most Powerful Question - Shut up. Stop whining and……..

During my presentation The Pursuit of Personal Excellence I share my personal story of the time in my life when I was consumed by victim thinking and made some less desirable decisions. Decisions that resulted in my spending a number of months living in the back seat of a 1964 Plymouth. Throughout the presentation I share strategies for breaking free of victim thinking including some of the ones I used to go from being a 60 pound overweight pack a day smoker with a grade 10 education to where I was able to change my life and realize my dream of becoming a police officer. During the strategy component of the seminar I mention a book by Larry Winget titled, 'Shut up. Stop Whining and Get a Life.' The title says it all and always gets a laugh as everyone can all imagine someone in their life they need to buy the book for. When I figured this out (and I have had to do it a few times in my life), it changed everything for me. That was the point when I started to take responsibility for my choices, thoughts, actions and attitude. 

Watching a the FIFA World Cup game (soccer for us North Americans) the other day reminded me of the book. The players are incredible athletes with impressive levels of fitness but, they make me want to scream at the television, "Shut up. Stop Whining and play the game." The feigned injuries, the constant whining to the referee detracts from the game. The players antics got me thinking about how applicable the first part of Larry's book title is. How often have you wanted to tell someone to:

• Shut up. Stop whining and change your attitude.
• Shut up. Stop whining and change your circumstances.
• Shut up. Stop whining and change your job.
• Shut up. Stop whining and change your language.
• Shut up. Stop whining and change your thinking.
• Shut up. Stop whining and start hanging out with new friends. 

Ask yourself how often people have wanted to tell you to "Shut up. Stop whining and………… (fill in the blank)" 

What's Important Now? - Heed the advice of Nike and 'Just Do It' - Shut up. Stop whining and get a life. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

Committed to the pursuit of excellence through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

Contact me at winningmind@mac.com if you would like to have me speak to your team,  your organization or at your conference. 

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