W.I.N. Wednesday: Some Important Reminders

Every once in a while, I read something that really resonates with me based on where I am at in my life. The below list from author Vex King did just that. All four points have been important on different days and in different seasons of my life. The first two reinforced some business decisions I recently made and the fourth is a constant battle in today’s world. I hope some, or all of them resonate with you and serve as important reminders.

1. Your energy is your most valuable currency— spend it wisely on people who reciprocate, spaces that energize, and purposes that fulfill. Not everything that demands attention deserves it.

2. Authenticity over adaptation. There's power in remaining true to yourself while everyone else chases trends and temporary validation. Your path may be slower, but it's yours.

3. Those who try to dim your light are battling their own darkness. Whole people don't break others to feel complete. Their criticism is a mirror reflecting their own battles, not your worth.

4. Peace isn't about controlling your surroundings it's about mastering your response. Your calm is your power, even when storms rage around you.

What’s Important Now? Keep these reminders handy and refer to them as needed.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: They are your son or daughter, not “your athlete”.

I believe that being involved in sports can potentially be good for kids. It can help them learn social skills, the importance of teamwork, respect for the game, the officials, and the other players, and how to deal with both victory and defeat. It can help them learn about the importance of focusing on effort and process and not just outcomes because effort and process are within their control, outcomes are not. It can help them learn about the importance of competing with him or herself and striving for small incremental improvement. It can help them learn about leadership and being a good friend. It can help them learn about the importance of physical activity.

Participation in sport can do all these things, but it can also be a soul sucking and crushing experience for kids. It can do all the great things identified in the first paragraph is if the child has parents and coaches with the right attitude about sports and life and learning and growing and exploring.

When I coach youth sports, which I did because I wanted my kids to have a different experience with sports than I did growing up, I was always of the opinion that youth sports could be a lot of fun for the kids if it wasn’t for the adults. I had parents furious with me because I would give all the kids equal playing time. I had a couple of occasions where my sons thought a parent was going to assault me over something they perceived as a “bad coaching decision” in a game with 8- to 10-year-olds. I had to kick a parent off a practice field because of the outrageous way he was acting while coaching Bantam football.

Recently, I have heard several people in the youth athletics space, some who I highly respect, use the term “your athlete” when communicating with parents. Words have power and the term “your athlete” commoditizes the child. They are not a commodity; they are your son or daughter who happens to be involved in sports. They are a young person who is facing the many challenges of navigating the complexity of growing up and making their way in the world.

If you coach youth sports or are a parent of a child playing youth sports I encourage you to read InSideOut Coaching by Joe Ehrmann and Do Hard Things by Steve Magness.

What’s Important Now: Remember they are your son or daughter, not “your athlete”.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: A Peace to Strive For

A W.I.N. Newsletter subscriber sent me the following last week and I wanted to share it. Thanks Brenda. 

A Peace to strive for ...                  

"I asked a friend who has crossed 70 and is heading towards 80, what sort of changes she is feeling in herself?

She sent me the following:

After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children and my friends, I have now started loving myself.

I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.

I stopped telling the elderly that they've already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.

I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.

I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never NEVER turn it down, just say "Thank You.”

I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. Personality speaks louder than appearances.

I walk away from people who don't value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.

I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.

I've learned not to be embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.

I have learned that it's better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. My ego will keep me aloof, whereas with relationships, I will never be alone.

I have learned to live each day as if it's the last. After all, it might be the last.

I am doing what makes me happy. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!

I decided to share this for all my friends. Why do we have to wait to be 60 or 70 or 80, why can't we practice this at any stage and age?"

Author unknown

What's Important Now? Read. Reflect. Adjust your thoughts and actions accordingly. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Intensity or consistency?

Short-term results come from intensity.

Long-term results come from consistency.

Farnam Street Brainfood Newsletter

Intensity or consistency? There is a need for both. Intensity gets glorified in social media. While there is a time and a place for intensity, it can come with a motivational and psychological, and sometimes physical cost.

Sometimes there is a season for intensity in your life and your career. There is a need for intensity in your workouts, just not all the time. Sometimes you need to back off and go easy to allow your mind and body to recover, and sometimes you just need to focus on consistency.

While there is a time and place for both intensity and consistency, if I had to choose just one, however, I would choose consistency.

Intensity is common, consistency is rare.

(a Different) Farnam Street Brainfood Newsletter

Consistency lends itself to the long game, The Infinite Game, and long-term results. Consistency supports the attainment of small incremental daily improvements. Consistency requires being committed, not just interested.

What’s Important Now? Focus on consistency then decide where to add in intensity.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Some thoughts for the coming year.

Yes, I realize it is Thursday, again. Last week the delay was intentional, this week I just dropped the ball. Below are four quotes I saw last week that resonated with me and I thought they might be helpful as you set course for the coming year.

“In 2025, I hope you don't just get by—I hope you live. Really live. I hope you wake up and feel the sunlight on your skin, not just as warmth, but as a reminder that you're still here, still breathing, still capable of so much more. I hope you let yourself slow down. To feel the soft moments, the quiet ones, the ones we often overlook while rushing through life. I hope you take those moments and hold them close. I hope you laugh-big, belly-deep laughs that make your eyes water. I hope you cry too, and let it remind you that your heart still feels deeply, even after all it's been through. I hope you stop living on autopilot, just doing what needs to be done. I hope you ask yourself, what makes me come alive? And I hope you go after it, even if it's messy, even if it scares you. I hope you make time for the things that matter-the people who feel like home, the dreams you've put on hold, the little things that make your heart lighter. Because you deserve more than just surviving. You deserve to live.”

Moses Kuria, Reflections

Trust is built in the smallest moments.

• It's in the quiet gestures, the follow through on simple promises, and the consistency of showing up when it matters.

• It's the reassurance of a friend who listens without judgment, the partner who keeps their word, or the stranger who offers kindness without expecting anything in return.

Trust is the slow accumulation of these moments. So small they often go unnoticed until, one day, they form a foundation strong enough to hold you.

Irene, How To Know Better

Two “Tiny Thoughts” from the Farnam Street Brainfood newsletter:

Two rules to help you be consistent with exercise this year:

1.    Show up.

2.    You can quit tomorrow.

Repeat.

Stick to the basics:

·      Be reliable. 

·      Do your job. 

·      Speak for yourself. 

·      Outcome over ego. 

·      Focus on the details. 

·      See challenges as opportunities. 

·      Go to bed smarter than when you woke up. 

What’s Important Now? Really live. Trust yourself. Show up. Stick to the basics.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Process goals, systems, and action.

Yes, I know it is Thursday and the delay of a day was intentional. Now you have New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day out the way and can focus on getting into a rhythm for the coming year. If you have been reading this newsletter for a few years, you know that I am not a big fan of new year’s resolutions. Having said that, I appreciate that some of you are. If you are, or if you are a believer in small incremental improvement on a regular basis as part of your life, then below are a few thoughts to help you on that journey.

Action is critical.

“Deciding is not doing, and wanting is not choosing. Transformation will take place not because of what you decide you want, but because of what you choose to do.”

Eric Greitens

In a recent meta-analysis of the research on goal setting one of the key findings was, “Process goals were more beneficial for increasing performance and self-efficacy than other goal types.” So, what are your process goals? What are the small incremental steps that will move you from where you are to where you want to be.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”

James Clear

In the book SIMPLIFY: A high performance playbook to win the real game author Richard Young PhD echoes James Clear’s thoughts on the importance of systems:

• “Many performers never reach their high performance zone because they don’t have a system they can rely on.”

• “It is not the goals you aim for; it is how you plan to achieve these goals. Goals don’t separate high performers; systems do. Systems are people, processes and how we operate.”

Systems help minimize the need to continually choose and the need to constantly rely on will power. Systems are not always about finding ways to add more things to your life and your schedule. Systems can help you to simply and reduce.

I often spend 24 to 32 weeks a year on the road. This means I spend a lot of time in hotels. For me to be as consistent as possible with my nutrition, exercise and sleep I have developed systems over the years.

Over the past 20 years on the road, I have developed systems for a lot of things including:

• Minimizing disruptions to my circadian rhythms.

• Ensuring consistency with my sleep schedule.

• Ensuring consistency with my workouts at home and on the road.

• Eating on the road when I am staying in a hotel with a kitchen.

• Eating on the road when I am staying in a hotel with no kitchen, just a mini fridge.

• Eating at home.

• Travel days.

• Building in a buffer day on the road as a prep / recover from travel day.

• Teaching days on the road.

Does that mean I am special? Hell no. It is something I have learned from 20 years of trial and error. Does this mean that I never deviate from the system? No, but it minimizes the chances of that and allows for a greater level of consistency in my eating, sleeping and activity levels.

What’s Important Now? Develop process goals and systems and remember the key to transformation is action.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Work Hard in Silence. (Another rant from a grumpy old man.)

Two quotes for your consideration this week.

“Work hard in silence. Let success be your noise.”

Frank Ocean

“Worry not who knows of you; seek to be worth knowing.”

Confucius

A conversation I had yesterday reminded me of these two quotes. Chris is at the top of his field of competition. He does not have any social media accounts. He does not post “Heh, look at me.” pictures of himself. He works extremely hard in silence and lets his success be his noise.

I would encourage you to spend time reflecting on these two quotes, then with the two quotes in mind go back and look at your social media posts. How many of them are “Heh, look at me.” posts? This includes trainers posting “Heh, look at me.” posts disguised as “Heh, look at the great group of people who attended my training today.” And people in leadership positions posting “Heh, look at me.” posts disguised as “Heh, look at the great people in my organization that I am out working with for a shift.”

If the people who attended your training found value in it and choose to make an unsolicited post about the training, then you can comment on the post, thank them for their participation and let them know you are glad that they found value in the content. As a side note I do not believe the fact that someone attends my training, voluntarily or not, gives me the automatic right to use them in selfies or other pictures from my training.

If you want to recognize the great work your people do then make the post about them, not about you, and if you are posting a picture of them (with their permission), then stay out of the picture.

I encourage you to share content that is of value to other people and to acknowledge the good work of others. Just don’t make it about you.

Enough said.

What’s Important Now? Work hard in silence and seek to be worth knowing.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

What’s Important Now? It is all about choices and trade-offs.

When answering questions about fitness and nutrition I have heard Lane Norton PhD say that there is no right or wrong, everything is a trade-off.

The below excerpt from The Great Mental Models v4: Economics and Art goes into more detail on the concept of trade-offs in life.

Life is full of trade-offs. Every choice has a cost. When you say yes to one thing, you say no to others. This is how the world works. It’s like gravity. You can’t escape it.

Opportunity cost is what you give up when you make a choice. It’s the thing you can’t have because you picked something else. Say you have a free evening. You can work on your startup or go to a movie. If you work, you miss the fun. If you go to the movie, you miss the chance to make progress. Every choice has an opportunity cost because you implicitly say no to many other things every time you say yes to something. You need to know your opportunity costs. This helps you make good trade-offs.

A trade-­off is giving up one thing to get something else. It’s choosing between options. Each has good and bad points. Trade-offs are about priorities. When you make something, you face trade-offs. If you want it fast, you might lose some features. If you want it cheap, you might use lower-quality materials.

In life, we face ­ trade-­ offs all the time. Do you take the high-paying job with long hours? Or the low-paying one with more free time? Do you spend money now or save for later?

Making good trade-­offs is about weighing the opportunity costs and benefits of each option and choosing the one that aligns best with your goals and values. It’s not always easy, but being conscious of the ­ trade-­offs you’re making can help you make better decisions.

Wisdom is anticipating the consequences of your choices. In life and business, success is about making good trade-offs. It’s not about having it all. It’s about having what matters most. We all value different things. That’s what makes life rich. Opportunity cost is what you give up when choosing; trade-offs are the balancing acts you perform when deciding between competing options. They’re two sides of the same ­ coin—whenever you make a ­trade-­off, you incur an opportunity cost for the options you didn’t choose. The key in both cases is to be thoughtful and intentional about your choices.

What’s Important Now? Life is about choices and trade-offs. Be thoughtful and intentional about your choices.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: I hope you remember.

I recently came across the following in a Daily Coach newsletter.

Hope You Don’t Forget

I hope you don’t forget why you started. I hope you don’t forget what made you say yes. Because as things get hard along the way, I hope you remember these things:

·      that moved you,

·      that made you feel so much joy,

·      that gives you purpose,

·      that made you say I want to do this. I want to do this for the rest of my life.

I hope you don’t forget.

Source: Kingie: Artist & Storyteller

While my preference is to change the words “don’t forget” to “always remember” the message is important. When I see men and women in policing, EMS, health care, or teaching who are struggling, I encourage them to remember why they started in the profession and why it was important to them to show up every day and do good work. To remember the people they are influencing and the lives they are impacting even if it is in some small way. To remember that what might seem like a ‘routine’ encounter for them, may be life changing for the person they are dealing with. To remember their purpose.

On those days when you don’t feel like working out I hope you remember why physical activity is important to you. Remember how you will feel once you get started and once you have completed another session of intentional activity. Remember your children who you want to be a positive role model for. Remember the importance to you of health span and being healthy as you progress through life.

I hope you remember why healthy eating is important to you. I hope you remember why it is important to make sleep a priority in your life.  

On those days when I am in another airport at 3:30 a.m. to catch another early morning flight, sitting on another airplane, or waking up in another hotel room, I need to remind myself of my why, my purpose. When I have people in a presentation, workshop or course who are only there because they are forced to be there and who refuse to engage and participate, I need to remind myself of my purpose and of the importance of focusing on those who are engaged and interested while giving my best to everyone in attendance.

What’s Important Now? I hope you always remember why you started, what made you say yes, and remember your purpose, because things will get hard.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Choose Yourself Without Shame

The topic of self-care came up in discussions earlier this week with Alton McCallum EdD on the topic Whole Souled Leaders, and with Adriana Johnsgaard MD FMP discussing wellness for first responders. In the Dare to Be Great Leadership workshops I give people a couple of minutes to write down their self-care rituals, the non-negotiables in their life that are about looking after themselves. Some people never write anything down. Others are done after 10 to 15 seconds and one or two would still be writing 20 minutes later if I gave them the time.  

After we talk about what is on their self-care lists, we discuss the reality that for them to best lead others, they need to be at their best and to do that they need to prioritize self-care and make sure they are healthy, or “whole” as Alton would say. I then share with the participants a quote from Katie Reed, “Self-care means giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.”

Recently I came across the following from Alex Elle, which emphasizes the importance of making self-care, self-prioritization, a practice (a ritual) and not an occasionally thing.

Choosing Ourselves Without Shame

Finding our way is hard when we’re emotionally stuck in certain habits, relationships and environments.

Self-prioritization is an ongoing practice, not just about choosing ourselves in the moment.

• Each day, we must recommit to our well-being – whether through a mindful walk, a nourishing meal, or a quiet moment of reflection.

• The micro-moments matter and can turn into the big moments that shape us.

Listening to our body and mind, honor our needs, and respond to the challenges in life with compassion and care is self-love.

 Alex Elle

Elle makes an important point that we need to self-prioritize and establish self-care rituals without shame. This is not being selfish. This is understanding that to best be of service to others, we need to commit, or re-commit to our wellbeing, understanding that the micro-moments matter.

What’s Important Now? Choose yourself without shame.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: The unexpected can happen to any of us.

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

Stephen R. Covey,

“The unexpected can happen to any of us.“ This is a line from a commercial. The commercial shows a couple walking out into the street between two parked cars. The husband has his head down looking at his phone. His wife puts an arm out to stop him from getting struck by a car driving down the street. I cannot tell you what the commercial is for because I get mad every time I see the commercial and tune out everything after that line while I rant in my hotel room, which is the only place I ever watch TV.

I get frustrated by the message “The unexpected can happen to any of us.” because it implies that potentially being struck by a car would have been a complete random event, an unpreventable accident.

If you are looking down at your phone while you walk out into traffic from between two parked cars, you should expect to get hit by a car.

If you are texting while driving, you should expect that at some point you will be involved in a crash.

If you are talking on a cell phone while driving, you should expect that at some point you will be involved in a crash.

If you continually drive in sleep deprived state, you should expect that at some point you will fall asleep at the wheel and be involved in a crash.

If you are on your phone texting or e-mailing while walking down a busy sidewalk, through a mall, through an airport and anywhere else where there are other people and obstacles you should expect that at some point you are going to trip over or walk into an obstacle or into someone else.

If you smoke, you should expect that it will shorten your life expectancy.

If you neglect your health, you should expect that at some point you will get sick and experience health issues.

What’s Important Now? We are all products of our decisions. Use W.I.N. to help guide those decisions, then take responsibilities for the decisions you make.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Wisdom From the Blues

One of the songs on my workout playlist is the blues song Dat Maybe by Tas Cru. While the song is about love and honesty in a relationship there are powerful life and leadership messages in the chorus:  

“Don’t say you will if you think you won’t. Don’t say you do if you know you don’t. Don’t give me that heh, don’t give that ho, don’t give me that maybe when your heart says no.”

The three key lessons:

1.    Be honest.

2.    Do what you say you will do. 

3.    There is some great wisdom in blues lyrics.

Don't say you will if you know you won't. If you do not have the time, if the request is not in alignment with your values and priorities, if you are not going to be able to follow through then let the other person know that up front.  That will take a lot of stress off of you, let the other person move forward or in a different direction and will preserve, and likely enhance your relationship. If you say you will, then follow through and do what you said you would do.

Don't say you do if you know you don't. Don't say you will support that person for promotion, or that you support the project or initiative if you don't. Be honest. Be helpful. Offer guidance on what areas the person needs further experience, training or development to earn your support. 

Don't say maybe if your heart says no. If your heart says no then connect your heart to your mouth and say no. Don’t string the other person along just because it is easier than saying no up front. You know you will not follow through and will just come up with some lame excuse down the line why you can’t.

“No” is a hard word for many of us to say because we want to help and we want to be seen as being positive and supportive. You can say no politely and professionally. Failure to say no when you do not have the time, energy or belief however, results in being over committed, stretched too thin, stressed out and burned out. It leaves you feeling resentful and angry. It destroys trust and relationships. 

Everything you say “yes” to means you end up saying “no” to something else, perhaps something that is ultimately more important. Some of my deepest frustrations and regrets are from saying yes, or maybe, when I should have said no.  

Say no more often. When you do say yes, do what you said you would do. And, listen to the blues more often.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: The hallmark of wisdom.

“The hallmark of wisdom is an alchemy of confidence and doubt, and knowing when to up the ante of one versus the other.”

Robert Sutton

It is not about all confidence, all the time. It is ok to have doubts. The key is to take action when you experience those doubts.

View whatever is driving the doubt as a challenge and engage in approach behaviors. Do the work to prepare and as Mitch Greene PhD would say, “Choose courage over confidence.” Have the courage to step into the doubt knowing that confidence comes from experience.  

As you gain experience from the process of choosing courage over confidence, taking action, struggling, reflecting on the struggle, learning and growing, the confidence will come. Through this journey you will develop the wisdom to know when to up the ante on confidence and when to up the ante on doubt.

What’s Important Now? It is ok to have doubts.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Knowing better is just the start.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”

Maya Angelou

Ask questions, read, listen, reflect, and learn so you know better.

Knowing better, however, is just the start.

What’s Important Now? When you know better, do better. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. 

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Learn to do this without guilt.

The following was shared recently on The Daily Coach blog:

Rest Without Guilt

If you need to rest, rest without guilt.  

• There's so much going on in the world all of the time. Sometimes everything feels too heavy.  

• Your body will fight rest because you remember all of the people you feel are being more productive than you.  

But sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest. Learning to take care of yourself will only make you more productive in the future. 

Source: Jacqueline Whitney, All That You Deserve

The reason this jumped out at me is because if generally suck at this, as many probably people do. Why? Partly because of the constant messages we get regarding how to achieve success in life such as:

• You have to grind it out.

• Never quit because quitters never win, and winners never quit.

• Sleep is overrated. You can sleep when you are dead.

• ·The top performers only sleep a few hours a day and make effective use of every waking hour.

• While you are resting your “competition” is putting in the work to beat you.

• We glorify people who make it through Special Operations selection in the military, but never talk about people who were unsuccessful and went on to have very successful and fulfilling lives and careers.

• While movies like Rocky may be entertaining and inspiring, they send the message that you need to be willing to sacrifice your mental and physical health to achieve success in life.

• Some in the fitness space promote the mentality that you push yourself to absolute failure in every workout if you want the best results.

For the most part social media, advertising and Hollywood fail to glorify the importance of rest and recovery. We often talk about the work ethic of the best athletes, and rarely, if ever, talk about their rest and recovery rituals. For me, I am always thinking about all the things I need to get done and feel guilty about not doing them.

We are, however, starting to see a shift. There are more people talking about the importance of sleep for health and longevity than ever before. Dan Dworkis MD PhD, an emergency room physician, author of The Emergency Mind and host of The Emergency Mind Podcast has a 4-step model to perform at your best under pressure – Prepare, Perform, Recover and Evolve. Dan talks about the importance of both micro recovery and macro recovery. Sport and Performance psychologist Alex Auerbach PhD recently wrote about the important elements of mindset, including the Recovery Mindset where you view recovery as an investment. Steve Magness is his must-read book Do Hard Things challenges us to rethink the concept of “toughness”.

There are times when you just need to suck it up and push through and get the task or project finished. If your life, however, is a constant barrage of suck it up and push through, it will come at a significant cost physically, mentally and emotionally.  

What’s Important Now? Learn to rest without guilt. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: What are your self-care rituals?

In the two-day Dare to Be Great Leadership workshops I ask people to write down their self-care rituals. I explain that rituals are intentional and non-negotiable and self-care rituals are the nonnegotiable elements in their life focused on their physical and mental health and overall wellness. I recently heard sport and performance psychologist Jim Loehr describe a ritual as, “An intentionally acquired habit that serves the mission.” The mission, in this context, is to look after your own health and wellness so you can be most effective in leading others.

In every class there are people who would be writing for 20 minutes if I gave them that much time for the exercise. Others are done after 30 to 60 seconds and some never write anything down. For those who do write something down their lists include:

·      Exercise

·      Nutrition

·      Sleep

·      Time in nature

·      Time with family

·      Time with friends

·      Hobbies

·      Prayer

·      Meditation

·      Quiet time for themselves

·      Reading

After we discuss what is on their lists, I share the following quote from Katie Reed: “Self-Care means giving the world the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.” The purpose behind the exercise and subsequent conversation is to remind them that while we often talk about the concept that leadership is not about you, it is about the people you have the privilege to lead, coach and mentor, leadership always starts with you. For you to best be of service to others, you need to bring your best self to the table and that requires that you have self-care rituals.

Too often people in leadership positions who are striving to look after their people, neglect themselves. I share my personal example from the last 8 ½ years with the Calgary Police Service. I was committed to looking after the highly committed and extremely hard-working people in my unit, while also striving to be a good husband and father, and as a result often neglected myself. I worked thousands of hours of unpaid overtime and when I retired, I was fat and exhausted and not performing to my best in any of the roles in my life. I share this story not as a badge of honor, but as a lingering regret that I failed to understand the importance of self-care and its role in effective leadership. My hope is that they will not make the same mistakes I made.

What are your self-care rituals?

What’s Important Now? Invest in your self-care so you can give the world the best of you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Excellence is mundane.

"Excellence is mundane. Superlative performance is really a confluence of dozens of small skills or activities, each one learned or stumbled upon, which have been carefully drilled into habit and then are fitted together in a synthesized whole. There is nothing extraordinary or superhuman in any one of those actions; only the fact that they are done consistently and correctly, and all together, produce excellence.”

Daniel Chambliss PhD, The Mundanity of Excellence

The above excerpt is from a paper Chambliss published in 1989 titled “The Mundanity of Excellence: An Ethnographic Report on Stratification and Olympic Swimmers”. While the focus of the paper is on swimmers Chambliss, does reference other arenas of performance and the core insights can be broadly applied.

The message to all of us is that the pursuit of excellence in any endeavour is about showing up every day and doing the work. Being consistent with the putting the effort into the small, seemingly insignificant steps that add up over time like compound interest. There are no hacks, secrets, or shortcuts. The work is not sexy, but it is necessary. Steven Pressfield wrote about this in The War of Art, Do the Work and in much of his other non-fiction writing.  

We too often get enamoured with the performance and miss all the years of training, practice and hard work that went before the performance. We like to talk about the best performers being a “natural” in their sport or arena of performance. We like to credit genetics. While genetics may help guide people to a specific sport or position within a sport, genetics without years of consistent hard work and practice will not allow you to become a world class performer.

This is not a discussion about theories of learning, teaching, and coaching or pedagogical models. Yes, great coaches can make practices fun and challenging. But you must consistently show up to practice, put in the effort and do the work. And you must do that over a long period of time if you want to be excellent. This applies to athletics, writing, music, speaking, teaching, sales, leading or any other arena of performance. You must continually and consistently invest in improving your mind, body, and craft.

What’s Important Now? Embrace the mundanity of excellence.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Are you focused on being right, or being better?

The below two quotes are from the FS (Farnam Street) Brain Food Newsletter last week.

“Imagine what you could accomplish if you weren't focused on being right all the time.”

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already.”

Tolstoy

Reading them caused me to pause and reflect on the times where I have been focused on being right, instead of being better. In those moments I was firmly persuaded that I already knew and therefore was not open to new information, new insights, new data, and a potentially new way of thinking. I am sure I came across as being arrogant, rather that being curious. “Stay Curious” is one of my Core Values and there are times where I need to remind myself to close my mouth, open my ears and my mind, stay curious, listen, learn, and grow.

This does not mean that I will always change my stance or position on a topic. It does mean that I will listen and be open to changing my position in the face of new and more compelling data. It does mean that I will be open and curious to others’ perspectives and points of view and be open to discussing the topic.

I also need to remind myself that when I have those moments where I get caught up in being right and am firmly persuaded that I already know, it does not make me a bad person. It is a simple reminder that I am human. It is also an opportunity to take a breath, take a step back from needing to be right, and open my mind to potentially new information, new insights, and new possibilities.

What’s Important Now? Stay curious. Keep your ears and your mind open.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: Two things nobody can give you.

The below quote from one of James Clear’s 3-2-1- Thursday newsletters really resonated with me for a number of reasons, which I will get into below.

"People can help you in many ways throughout life, but there are two things nobody can give you: curiosity and drive. They must be self-supplied.

If you are not interested and curious, all the information in the world can be at your fingertips, but it will be relatively useless. If you are not motivated and driven, whatever connections or opportunities are available to you will be rendered inert.

Now, you won't feel curious and driven about every area of life, and that's fine. But it really pays to find something that lights you up. This is one of the primary quests of life: to find the thing that ignites your curiosity and drive.

There are many recipes for success. There is no single way to win. But nearly all recipes include two ingredients: curiosity and drive."

James Clear

Here are a few of the reasons this resonated with me:

• Stay Curious is one of my core values and guides my daily activities.

• Curiosity is also linked to my other Core Values - Focus on What’s Important Now and Seek to Inspire Others. I accept that curiosity and drive are not something I can give someone else, they are, however, attributes I can seek to inspire in others through the various aspects of my work.

• The line, “Now, you won't feel curious and driven about every area of life, and that's fine.” Is an important reminder. It is ok to say, “I don’t know a lot about that topic.” At that point in a conversation, I can be curious and ask questions of the other person to explore their understanding of the topic and their reason for asking me about the topic.

• The next line talks about the importance of “finding something that lights you up”. I was fortunate to find that 30 years ago. What is it? Seeking to find effective ways to help the men and women I train to prepare their mind and their body for where they may have to go.

• ·      The final paragraph reminded me that my way is “a way”, not “the way” and that I need to help people find a way that works for them, understanding the critical nature of curiosity and drive in that process.

The second paragraph from the James Clear’s except reminds me of a quote from Dean Kamen that I share on The Excellence in Training course:

“Imagination is more critical now. Knowledge is a commodity. Knowledge is virtually free and accessible instantly. Imagination is what allows us to do the next great thing. Imagination allows us to say, ok I have all this knowledge, that is what we have today. How do I make a better tomorrow? What do you add to knowledge to create the future. You have to innovate. What is innovation? Innovation is taking all the same facts that everyone else has, looking at all the same problems as everybody else is looking at, but see them differently and say, “Ah Hah this is what we can do to fix this problem. That’s imagination.”

Take time to reflect of your life. What is it for you that ignites your curiosity and drive?

What’s Important Now? Stay curious and use your imagination and drive to continue to innovate and help make a better tomorrow.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers. 

W.I.N. Wednesday: It is always about you. It is always about you.

"You're going to realize it one day—that happiness was never about your job or your degree or being in a relationship. Happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you; it was never about being like the others. One day, you're going to see it—that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. Happiness was always about being kinder to yourself; it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. One day, you will understand that happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that your happiness was never in the hands of others. It was always about you. It was always about you."

Bianca Sparacino, A Gentle Reminder

What’s Important Now? Instead of waiting until “one day”, start now by accepting - It is always about you. It is always about you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com

ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.

If you found value in this post, please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers.