W.I.N. Wednesday: You can't be both of these at the same time.
“You can’t be envious and happy at the same time. People who pay too much attention to social comparisons find themselves chronically vulnerable, threatened, and insecure.”
“The happier the person, the less attention she pays to how others around her are doing.”
Sonja Lyubomirsky
I was talking to someone recently who I personally respect a great deal, and who is highly respected and accomplished in their field. Based on interactions with others in a group they have recently become a member of, they made the comment, “I am an underachiever.” They are far from an underachiever, but that is a comment I hear a lot and at times have found myself muttering to myself.
It is too easy to get sucked into the comparison game. We compare our titles, status at work and the number of promotions we have received. We compare formal education, paycheques and social media followers. We compare vacation photos, homes and vehicles. We compare the success of our children. Speakers compare the number of speaking gigs every year, the size of the audiences, testimonials and evaluations. You compare yourself to someone who has done a TEDx talk and people who have done TEDx talks compare themselves to people who have done a TED talk and they all compare views.
We generally compare things that are surface level. We rarely compare impact as can be hard to measure. Titles, status, numbers of followers, number of views and number of attendees are not reflective of impact. The size of your house or the amount of money you make is not reflective of impact. The size of the audience or the number of “followers” someone has is not reflective of impact.
We also tend to put too much emphasis on “success” and not enough on “significance”. Success is measured by some arbitrary standard usually based around job title, how much money you make, the size of your house and the type of car you drive. None of those are measures of significance.
There are many people who live lives of significance and impact who may never be considered “successful “and are certainly not famous. Many of them may find themselves feeling “less than” and thinking they are an “underachiever” when nothing could be further from the truth.
“You can’t be envious and happy at the same time. People who pay too much attention to social comparisons find themselves chronically vulnerable, threatened, and insecure.”
“The happier the person, the less attention she pays to how others around her are doing.”
Sonja Lyubomirsky
What’s Important Now? Step away from the comparison game and strive to live a life of significance and impact.
Take care.
Brian Willis
www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com.
ONE QUESTION BRINGING FOCUS AND CLARITY IN THE CHAOS AND COMPLEXITY OF TODAY'S WORLD.
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