W.I.N. Wednesday: The events of your past are fixed, but …..

A conversation I had recently with a friend about some events from my past, and some experiences at a recent Rooftop Leadership Live event reminded me of the following except from one of James Clear’s 3-2-1 Thursday newsletters:

"The events of your past are fixed. The meaning of your past is not.

The influence of every experience in your life is determined by the meaning you assign to it. 

Assign a more useful meaning to your past and it becomes easier to take a more useful action in the present."

You cannot change what has happened to you. You cannot change how other people have treated you. You cannot change the words others have said to you. You can accept this reality with resignation and a victim mentality, or you can understand that while you do not control those experiences you do control the meaning you assign to them, the power you give them and the stories you tell yourself about what happened. 

There were many times in my life when the meaning I assigned to events caused me to embrace victim thinking and get caught up in the “blame game”. I convinced myself that life was unfair and what happened to me was everyone else’s fault. This resulted in me dropping out of high school at age 16 and living in the back seat of a 1964 Plymouth for months. At 18 I was a pack a day smoker, 90 to 100 pounds overweight, I had a grade 10 education and was working in a warehouse job that paid me $325.00 a month and this was a step up from the meat packing plant job. 

Over time I began to understand that I could assign different meaning to those events and that I had the power to make changes in my attitude and my life. I didn’t know it at the time and did not have the words, but I began to apply the W.I.N. philosophy to my life. That does not mean that I did not slip back into the victim mentality and the blame game over the years. When I did however, I knew that I could make changes to my thinking to get out of that. 

“Others can choose to make you a target. Only you can choose to be a victim.”

Gavin de Becker

When you accept that you control the meaning, power and stories attached to those events, you develop the understanding that being a victim is a choice. 

“Three existential themes are at the core of posttraumatic growth. The first is the recognition that life is uncertain and that things change. This amounts to a tolerance of uncertainty that, in turn, reflects the ability to embrace it as a fundamental tenet of human existence. The second is psychological mindfulness, which reflects self-awareness and an understanding of how one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are related to each other as well as a flexible attitude toward personal change. The third is acknowledgment of personal agency, which entails a sense of responsibility for the choices one makes in life and an awareness that choices have consequences.”

Stephen Joseph, What Doesn’t Kill Us

You get to choose the meaning you assign to events in your life.

What’s Important Now? Choose meaning that allows you to grow and move forward better off for the experiences. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Becoming is better than being.

"Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not."

Neil deGrasse Tyson

In today’s world we too often focus completely on the outcome, and miss the journey, the process, the effort and the struggle that led to that outcome. We celebrate the “overnight success”, who took 20 years to achieve that success. We celebrate “natural talent” and miss all the years of practice, study and struggle that went in to making it look “natural”. As a result we often fail to encourage the people who have not succeeded, or not yet succeeded. 

“No matter how much you have achieved, you will always be merely good relative to what you can become. Greatness is an inherently dynamic process, not an end point. The moment you think of yourself as great, your slide toward mediocrity will have already begun.”

Jim Collins, Good to Great and the Social Sectors

When we do succeed and others celebrate that success, it is easy to stop there, soak in the celebration and settle, thinking that we have arrived, and that we are great. When we do that our slide to mediocrity will begin. Why? Because we will stop doing the work, doing the things that got us there.  

“The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.”

Jim Rohn

The key is to focus on effort and process. Celebrate the effort, the journey, the friction, the struggles, the process, the learning and the growth, not just the outcome.

“Don’t let your now become your ceiling. Becoming is better than being.”
Ryan Hawk, Welcome to Management: How to Grow From Top Performer to Excellent Leader

What’s Important Now? Focus on becoming. Show up. Do the work. Assess, learn, grow, and repeat. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com  Use the code WINSubscriber to get 10% off the online workshop Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Overeating for the mind

In his 5-Bullet Friday newsletter on April 9 Tim Ferris shared the following “Quote I am Pondering” as one of the 5 bullets:

“Like our stomachs, our minds are hurt more often by overeating than by hunger.” (Ut stomachis sic ingeniis nausea sepius nocuit quam fames.)
— Petrarch

As I pondered that quote it struck me that in today’s world of always available, never ending information, it is like going to a massive buffet and stuffing yourself so you “get your money’s worth”.  It is common for people to belly up to the buffet of information available 24 hours a day. People are constantly scouring the 24-hour news cycles on the TV, their computer and their phones. They are continually scrolling through multiple social media feeds and trying to read as many books as the high profile people who read a book a week or a book a day. 

Fast forward over 600 years from Petrarch’s time and Gary Larson captures the same sentiments in a Far Side cartoon that shows a student in class raising his hand and saying, “Mr. Osborne, may I be excused? My brain is full.” 

The problem is that too often we fail to pause, savor the information we are consuming, let it digest, and reflect on what it means, how it links to what we already know and how it can be applied in our lives. Imagine a fine dining experience where you savor each bite, enjoy the flavor created by each of the intentionally selected and carefully prepared elements of the meal accompanied by the fine wine you are pairing with the food versus the buffet experience where we often do not even take time to enjoy the food, we are just trying to stuff in as much as possible. 

What about you? Are you selective about your sources of information? Do you carefully select what to ingest? Do you treat information like a fine dining experience or an all you can consume buffet? I know I catch myself sometimes sliding into the buffet mindset and having to force myself to pause, savor and digest the information I am consuming. 

What’s Important Now? Be cautious of overeating for your mind. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Guard this like your life depends on it.

Sleep – Guard it like your life depends on it; it likely does. 

You would be hard pressed to find any metabolic disorder or disease that is not impacted in some way by lack of sleep or poor quality sleep.

Some of the major man made disasters in the world have been linked to human error as a result of fatigue.

You can live longer without food than you can without sleep. Guinness World Records has eliminated the category of longest period of continual wakefulness because of the significant risk of serious health effects or death. 

According to sleep expert Matthew Walker PhD and author of the great book Why We Sleep, there are more fatigue related deaths on roadways in the US every year than impaired driving and distracted driving deaths combined.

Research indicates there are between 250,000 and 400,000 people who die every year in the US as a result of preventable medical errors. You have to wonder how many of those fatal errors are fatigue related. 

We too often take sleep for granted.  You have likely heard from the workaholic hard chargers that sleep is over rated and you can sleep when you are dead. 

Sleep is critical for all the functions of the human brain and body. Sleep is also critical to our learning.  As Glenn Landry PhD, an expert in chronobiology with an expertise in sleep, says the consensus science is that the vast majority of people need 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night. Both Landry and Walker suggest that if you believe you are one of those people who can function at a high level on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night, you are likely mistaken. 

Dr. Walker says there are four pillars of sleep:

1.    Depth / Quality

2.    Duration

3.    Continuity

4.    Regularity

Non-REM Light Sleep, Non-REM Deep Sleep and REM sleep all play important roles and we need all of them to function optimally. You will get more of the deep sleep in the first part of the sleep cycle and more REM sleep in the second part of the sleep cycle. 

So what do we do to enhance our sleep? 

I have interviewed Glenn Landry PhD, Allison Brager PhD, Lois James PhD, Steve James PhD and Erik Korem PhD on the topic of fatigue and sleep and listened to numerous interviews with Matthew Walker PhD, Andrew Huberman PhD, Samer Hattar  PhD and others on the topics of sleep. I have also read a number of books on this topic to help me understand sleep. 

According to the experts what is recommend? Here are the basics that are universally recommended:

• Be consistent with the time you go to bed, and the time you get up every day. This includes your days off. Many people suffer from social jetlag from sleeping in and staying up late on their days off. Matthew Walker says that sleep debt is the one debt that can never be repaid. The idea of sleeping in on your days off to make up for lost sleep during the week is a myth. While older individuals may get less sleep for a variety of reasons, they still require the same amount of sleep to function optimally.

• Give yourself the opportunity for 8 hours of sleep every night. This might mean being in bed for 9 hours a night. 

• Leave 3 hours after your last meal (4 to 5 hours is even better) before you go to bed.  Going to bed on a full stomach will disrupt the quality of your sleep and your body will be working to digest your food instead of using that energy to do a deep clean on your brain. That deep cleaning of the brain is important to prevent cognitive decline as we age.

• Make your bedroom as dark as possible. If light in the bedroom is an issue then wear a sleep mask. (I wear a sleep mast 365 nights a year.)

•  Keep the bedroom cool (65 degrees F or 18 degrees C). If this is not possible consider investing in a Chili Pad for your bed.  You can also have a hot bath or shower or a sauna before bed. While this may seem counter intuitive, it will help cool your core body temperature and help with sleep. 

• Get bright light, especially overhead bright light and blue light ,in the first 1 to 2 hours after getting up. Sunlight is best but depending on where you live, what time of year it is, what shift you work and what time you get up that may not be possible. In that case use bright lights in your home. (I have some bright overhead lights and a Philips goLite blue light device.)

• Avoid bright light, especially overhead light and blue light in the last 1 to 2 hours before bed.  Blue light blocking glasses can be helpful (I use Swanwick brand).  If you need to be on your computer in the evening you can install f.lux and it will help tone down the blue light. You may also want to install a dimmer switch on your bathroom lights and / or brush your teeth and wash up one to two hours before you go to bed to avoid bright light exposure right before bed. If you keep your phone by your bed as an alarm put it in Airplane Mode at night to stop the pinging and buzzing that will wake you up and suck you in to checking messages.

• Avoid caffeine for 8 to 10 hours before you go to bed.

• Avoid alcohol too close to the time you go to bed. Alcohol is a sedative, not a sleep aide. It may help you fall asleep, but it will disrupt the quality of your sleep and especially your REM sleep. 

• If you snore badly or your partner says you stop breathing briefly numerous times during the night then go to a sleep clinic and get tested. Untreated sleep apnea can have serious health consequences. 

• Short naps (20 to 30 minutes) during the circadian lull (this is mid afternoon for people who work dayshift and 0200 to 0400 for night shift workers) can be helpful. If you have insomnia then skip the naps to help build up sleep pressure. Having a cup of coffee before that 20 minute nap may be helpful as it takes about 30 minutes before the caffeine kicks in so you get the restorative rest and the caffeine kick coming out of the nap. Just be cautious about naps and coffee too close to your regular bedtime. 

If you are a shift worker and work permanent shifts, or two or three month blocks of shifts then circadian rhythm experts Glenn Landry PhD and Samer Hattar PhD both recommend keeping the same schedule 7 days a week to take the circadian shift, out of shift work. This allows your circadian rhythms in the body to reset to the new schedule. This is not easy, but it is doable. 

Working rotating shifts is extremely challenging from a sleep management and a health perspective. Dr. Landry has a 10 part online course on Surviving Shift Work available through his website at https://www.elitesleep.ca. I have completed the course and there is a lot of good information in the course. 

What’s Important Now? Good sleep is critical for optimal health and performance. Protect your sleep like your life depends on it. 

P.S. If you are a member of the Excellence in Training Academy I will be posting the interview with Glenn Landry PhD on Surviving Shift Work next week.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Be careful not to fracture the force of the mind.

"The mind must be given relaxation. It will rise improved and sharper after a good break. Just as rich fields must not be forced...so constant work on the anvil will fracture the force of the mind."

Seneca

In today’s world where people are working from home and are reluctant to turn off their cell phones or shut down their e-mail in case the boss wants to get ahold of them, you are at risk of “fracturing the force of the mind”. You see people who cannot leave work behind when they go on vacation. You see people who are continually checking their phone when they are out to dinner or spending time with family or friends. If this is you, you are at risk of “fracturing the force of the mind”.

You need to give your mind relaxation. That might mean letting your boss and your peers know that you will not be checking e-mail after a certain time, or executing a digital shutdown where you turn off all your devices at a certain time of day and just read, or listen to music or play board games or some other activity that allows you to relax your mind. 

If you read books on a tablet it can be tempting to be continually checking your e-mail or text messages so you may need to get a basic Kindle e-reader or similar device that does not have access to the internet, or e-mail or incoming text messages. 

You may need to schedule time each day to meditate, do breathe work, listen to your favorite music or go for a walk outside without your headphones in. You might use your workout time as an opportunity to relax your mind while you build a stronger body. You might set aside the non-fiction reading you are doing for school or work and spend a little time every day reading fiction books. 

The science suggests that 90-minute blocks of deep focus, or deep work followed by a period of relaxation for the mind may be the best for both productivity and learning. 

It is too easy to get caught up in always be “on”. While it may make you feel like you are being super productive, there is often a price to pay. 

Simple? Yes. Easy? No. Important? Yes. 

What’s Important Now? Remember, the mind must be given relaxation. It will rise improved and sharper after a good break.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: We need to show the Home Team some love.

It is common for people to thank current and former members of the military for their service. That appreciation is well deserved. Many members of our militaries have spent months and years away from their home and their families on deployments to wars zones and areas of conflict around the world and we need to thank them, and their families, for those sacrifices. It is also common to acknowledge, thank and honor the members of our militaries, past and present, for their contributions and sacrifices for our freedoms: Our freedom of speech and freedom of religion and our ability to live in a free and democratic society. Those are all appropriate. The military is the “Away Team” as they are very rarely deployed within our own borders in North America.

Once those freedoms have been earned through the sacrifices of the men and women of the military, the Away Team, we need men and women who are willing to step into professions of service within our own borders and our communities and ensure we can continue to enjoy those freedoms. That is the role of the men and women of law enforcement. They are the “Home Team”. It is common for members of the military to thank law enforcement for watching over their families and keeping them safe while they are deployed in foreign lands. A common interaction between a law enforcement profession and a military member or veteran often sounds like this, “Than you for your service. No, thank you for your service. No really, I need to be thanking you for your service. But you also serve and sacrifice and I thank you for your service.” This back and forth can go on way too long. 

Both professions are made up of men and women who are ordinary human beings, who often perform seemingly, super human tasks in very challenging situations. People in both professions have a heart of service. People in both professions suffer from the trauma they are exposed to. Mental health and suicide are major concerns in both professions. People in both professions make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes cost human life. 

If our freedoms depend on both the Away Team and the Home Team why do we then so easily turn on the Home Team?  Is it because the actions of the Away Team do not directly impact you, your family, your friends and your community? Is it because we see news coverage of the battles won in defeating an evil foreign enemy by the Away Team and generally only see news coverage when the Home Team has a seemingly “bad outcome”? We celebrate when we see pictures and videos of members of the Away Team meeting with village elders or community members in some foreign village and playing with children in those conflict riddled countries, yet ignore these daily occurrence between members of the Home Team and the communities they serve. 

We need both the Home Team and the Away Team. We need to keep showing our appreciation for the sacrifice and service of the Away Team and we need to show more love and appreciation for the Home Team, and their families, for the sacrifices they make throughout their careers. If you are a member of the ‘Silent Majority’ who do support, trust and appreciate the men and women of law enforcement please break the silence. When you see law enforcement officers be sure to express your appreciation. It is as simple as walking up and saying, “I appreciate what you do. Thank you for your service. Have a great rest of your shift.” 

What’s Important Now? This is a rough time for the Home Team. Lets show them some love, respect and appreciation. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: If you are in a holding pattern waiting you may be disappointed.

If you are waiting for things to go “back to normal”, you may be disappointed.

If you are waiting for us to be done with COVID, you may be disappointed. 

If you are waiting for a vaccine that is 100% effective against SARS-CoV-2 and all variations and mutations, you may be disappointed. 

If you are waiting for a day when everyone is fully vaccinated, no one has to wear masks and the world of work, travel, school, shopping and socializing is back to where it was in 2019 before the pandemic, you may be disappointed. 

Unfortunately I see too many people who are in a holding pattern waiting. Waiting for things to go back to “normal”. Waiting for things to go back to the way they were. 

The world you are living in now, is normal; the normal of now. The normal of now will be different a week from now, a month from now, a year from now……….. 

Even without the pandemic the world would be different now than it was a year ago. Change is part of life. 

I do not believe that resilience is about bouncing back. None of us has a time machine. We can never go back.  We can learn from the past but we all have to live in the present. I subscribe to Eric Greitens’ philosophy that resilience is not about bouncing back; it is about moving through.  Through:

·      Hardship to Happiness

·      Suffering to Strength

·      Pain to Wisdom

Greitens explains that resilient people find healthy ways to integrate their negative experiences into their life. 

Living life in a holding pattern while you are waiting for things to get back to the way they were is not good for anyone. You need to take action. Do what you can with what you have. Be grateful for what you do have and what you can do. Seek positive opportunities in the normal of now. Focus on your health. Focus on your family. Focus on your personal growth. 

I am fortunate that I do not have to look very far for positive examples. While my oldest son Jesse’s two Vine Arts locations have done well over the last year his cocktail bar Proof and restaurant Donna Machave been significantly impacted by the pandemic and the public health measures. My youngest son Cody’s restaurants Native Tongues, Calcutta Cricket Club, A-1 Cantina and A-1 Café along with A-1 Burrito and A-1 Bodega have all been significantly impacted by the pandemic and the public health restrictions. Neither one of them have spent much time sitting around waiting and wishing for things to “get back to normal”. They have accepted the ever changing normal of now and continually improvised and adapted to look after their staff as best as possible and make the best of whatever they can do given the restrictions. Has it been frustrating? Sure. Has it been easy? No. Have there been some days that are better than others? Yes. Did they have to make hard decisions at multiple points in the last year? Absolutely. 

Will things ever get back to “the way things were”? No. What will the normal of now be like in 6 months, 12 months, or 18 months? No one knows. 

What’s Important Now? Accept the normal of now. Take action. Do what you can with what you have. Embrace the Suck. Look for the Good. Dare to Be Great. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Life. It is not one size fits all.

Life is not a one size fits all endeavour. 

Not all successful people are members of the “5 a.m. Club”.

Journaling works for some, not for others.

While exercise and activity are beneficial to many aspects of your health, the type and amount that works best varies greatly and it may vary greatly at different times in your life. 

Some people like group fitness activities (when that was allowed) while some of us like to work out by ourselves. 

There are many ways of “healthy eating”. 

Some people thrive working from home while others struggle. 

Working for yourself works for some people, but it is not for everyone.

Some people starting a business want to scale their businesses and go big, some want to be solopreneurs. 

There are common traits and characteristics of great leaders, but there is not one “ideal” leadership style. 

Some of us like solitude and can enjoy being alone with out feeling lonely, but not everyone. 

Not everyone likes the same movies, books, interviewers, interviewers or podcasts.

Some people like to read books, other prefer to listen to books. 

Some people like to read print books while some of us do all our reading on a tablet or other device.

Not everyone likes to attend training where the trainer is having the attendees jump around, shout, dance and clap, but some do. 

Online training works well for some, but not everyone. 

Just because some celebrity, best selling author or famous person has a routine that allegedly works for them, does not mean it will work for you. 

What’s Important Now? Do the research. Educate yourself. Decide for yourself who is a credible source of information and advice. Develop your own filter and screen all advice, including mine. Experiment and figure out what works best for you.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Read. Reflect. Think. Pause. Deliberate.

I am an advocate of reading non-fiction works from a variety of genres and encourage you to commit time every day to read. Reading non-fiction books for 10 minutes every day will result in you reading at least 10 books a year. Imagine if you committed 20 or 30 minutes every day. 

“Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. Without books, the development of civilization would have been impossible. They are engines of change (as the poet said), windows on the world and lighthouses erected in the sea of time. They are companions, teachers, magicians, bankers of the treasures of the mind. Books are humanity in print."

Barbara Tuchman

But reading alone is not enough. You need to also make time to reflect on what you are reading. 

"Reading can teach you the best of what others already know.

Reflection can teach you the best of what only you can know."

James Clear, 3-2-1 Thursday Newsletter

With millions of books to choose from it is easy to drown in information and get caught up simply trying to read as many books as possible. In addition to committing time to reading you also need to commit time to think about what you are reading.

““We are drowning in information,” biologist E. O. Wilson said, “while starving for wisdom.” If we don’t take the time to think—if we don’t pause, understand, and deliberate—we can’t find wisdom or form new ideas. We end up sticking with the first solution or thought that pops into our mind, instead of staying with the problem. But problems worth solving don’t yield immediate answers.”
Ozan Varol, Think Like a Rocket Scientist

What’s Important Now? Read. Reflect. Think. Pause. Deliberate. Apply. Learn. Grow. Repeat. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Beware Hero Worship

All humans are flawed. 

The great leaders of today and throughout history all have flaws. The great historical figures all had flaws. The great stoics were flawed. We have a bad habit of getting caught up in hero worship and putting those people on a pedestal. When their flaws get exposed, often years or eve decades later, some people become outraged and want to wipe out anything that person ever accomplished or created. They want to throw out the books they wrote. They want to tear down the statues. They want to erase their names from the history books. 

If we got caught up in hero worship we are angry with those we put on a pedestal for betraying us, and we are angry with ourselves for being gullible. 

You can admire people’s work and accomplishments. You can admire the traits that make, or made them successful. You can admire the work they did and their writings. Just understand they too are human. They too have flaws. They too will make mistakes and poor decisions. That is part of being human. 

Most people are doing the best they can. Sometimes that will be enough, and sometimes it will not. Sometimes it will be enough at the time, but with the bias of hindsight, it will not be enough. 

All human are flawed. There is no such thing as the perfect leader. There are no perfect humans. Lets have compassion for others and self-compassion. Lets learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others. 

What’s Important Now? It is ok to admire, but you also have to be willing to forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone a wrong someone else has done. It means you forgive them for being human, for being flawed. (Simple; not easy.)

P.S. Something else to consider is that without flawed human beings we would not have Blues or Country music.

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: A Requirement for Improvement

In the W.I.N. Wednesday posts I talk a lot about the importance of striving for daily incremental improvements. Improvement is not a one off thing; it requires persistence. Persistent daily efforts to learn, grow, improve, and get better. I used the word “striving” for a reason. We are all human and some days we will accomplish this goal, and others we will struggle and come up short. That is ok. Have some self-compassion and get back at it tomorrow. Below is some advice from James Clear and Calvin Coolidge on this topic.  

"Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who you are.

-The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader.

-The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner.

-The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.

This year, focus on the identity you want to build."

James Clear, Atomic Habits

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a Proverb!

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

The slogan, ‘Press On!’ has solved, and always will solve, the problems of the human race.”

Calvin Coolidge, US President, 1923-29

"Improvement is a battle that must be fought anew each day.

Your next workout doesn't care how strong your last one was.

Your next essay doesn't care how popular your last one was.

Your next investment doesn't care how smart your last one was.

Your best effort, again."

James Clear, 3-2-1 Newsletter

Continuous improvement requires persistence. Persistence requires taking personal responsibility for your actions.

What’s Important Now? Take responsibility. Take action. Be persistent. You will be glad you did. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Are you fighting for or against?

In todays world we see lots of people fighting. Some are fighting for a cause or for a specific change, and others are fighting against something. While some would argue that it is the same thing, I suggest they are very different.

Fighting against too often results in finger pointing, name calling and blaming. Some people fighting against seem to relish the fight more than the cause. Some who are fighting against cannot tell you what they are actually fighting for, how they will know when they have accomplished their goal, or even what the goal is in positive terms. Often the fighting against focus is extremely broad and does not address specific issues or behaviors. Fighting against focuses on looking for and continually highlighting what is wrong. When you are always looking for what is wrong it is usually easy to find. 

Fighting for on the other hand is focused on positive change. Fighting for looks to build on the good that already exists. Fighting for looks for examples of positive change and then highlights those examples for others to follow. Fighting for looks to build a tribe, a movement that embraces change and the new ideals and behaviors and then seeks to grow that movement through inspiration instead of forcing compliance through intimidation. People who are fighting for a cause can usually tell you what change looks like and what new behaviors and organizational cultures they are striving for. 

If you think about politics for a moment, regardless if it is at the local, provincial / state or federal level, many politicians running for office focus on fighting against their opponent. As a result we see smear campaigns built on showing how bad their opponent is. A few however, focus on running their campaigns on fighting for specific improvements in specific areas.  They focus on the positive change they will bring rather than on the person they are trying to beat. Opposition parties often seem to feel their job is to oppose everything the majority party proposes. They spend all their time fighting against, rather than fighting for positive changes, which will benefit their constituents, and that requires working with the other party. A percentage of voters vote against the incumbent and not for their candidate. If the incumbent is unseated those voters celebrate the defeat of the incumbent. In some cases they then experience voter’s remorse within a few weeks when the realities of who and what they actually voted for settles in. 

This sadly plays out in all aspects of society. The result is too often is simply more fighting, with little or no positive change. The current ant-racism narrative concerns me. I in no way support racism. The current fight against narrative however, seems to be creating divide rather than unity. The push back is not in support of racism. With the exception of small fringe groups people agree that there is no place in our society for racism. The push back is by people who feel they are inappropriately being labeled as racist. The push back is also against the allegation of systemic racism in an organization or profession. 

What if instead, we fought for? Fought for cultures of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging in our organizations and our communities? Diversity in race, religion, gender, age, education, experience, sexual orientation, upbringing and diversity of thought. Diversity alone is not enough. We need cultures of diversity, inclusion and belonging. Diversity without a culture of inclusion and belonging is not going to change anything. In a culture of diversity, inclusion and belonging there is no place and no tolerance for discrimination and racism. In these cultures we treat other people the way they would like to be treated, instead of the way we would like to be treated. What if instead of Ant-Racism Committees that are looking for examples of racism and discrimination we had Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging Committees who were looking for ways to develop, foster and nurture that culture. While fighting for, you can identify barriers to change and seek to remove those barriers or obstacles. 

Fighting against tends to focus on tearing down. Fighting for focuses on building up. Fighting against tends to create divides where fighting for brings people together. Fighting against usually requires an enemy. Fighting for looks for allies. Fighting against is a Finite Game with a winner and loser. Fighting for is an Infinite Game where there is no end point, simply a mindset of continual growth and improvement. Fighting against may bring people together for the short term, but fighting for brings people together for the long game. 

What’s Important Now? If you are going to fight, if it is worthy of a fight, then fight for. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: How long are you going to wait?

"How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?"

Epictetus

How long are you going to wait to demand the best for your physical health?

How long are you going to wait to demand the best for your emotional health?

How long are you going to wait to demand the best for your learning?

How long are you going to wait to demand the best for your financial wellbeing?

How long are you going to wait to demand the best for your job satisfaction?

How long are you going to wait to demand the best for your relationships?

How long are you going to wait? Interesting question. Many of us would say we are tired of waiting. Tired of waiting for COVID to be over. Tired of waiting for the gyms to open. Tired of waiting for the weather to get warmer so we can get outside more. Tired of waiting for things to get back to “normal”. 

If you are tired of waiting, then what are you going to do about it? Are you willing to take action? Are you willing to stop making demands of the government, your boss and other people? Are you willing to make these demands of yourself? 

Why should you make these demands of yourself? Because you are the only person you have control over. You do not control the government, the public health officials, your organization, your boss, the SARS-CoV-2 virus or any of the variations, the weather or any other outside factors. 

You do control yourself. You control your actions, what you eat, what you read, your level of activity, many of your thoughts and how you spend your discretionary time every day. As soon as you decide you have waited long enough and begin to take action, everything else begins to change. 

How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself, from yourself? You do not have to do this alone. There are people, groups, organizations and resources available to help you once you decide that you have waited long enough and are committed to take action.

What’s Important Now? You have waited long enough. Get busy. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Which “hood” are you in: Adult, or child?

“You pass from childhood to adulthood when you take full responsibility for your life.” 

Jim Rohn

If you are reading this post then likely you are old enough to be considered an adult. In most jurisdictions you become an “adult” at 18 years of age. If we use Jim Rohn’s test to determine when people pass from childhood to adulthood however, things change.

There are some people who learn at a very early age to take full responsibility for their decisions, actions and words, even before they are classified as adults. There are other people who long ago met the legal standard to be classified as an adult, but have failed to make the transition from childhood to adulthood using Jim Rohn’s standard. 

In today’s society it seems that too many people are pushing the narrative that encourages people to adopt the victim mentality. The problem is that the victim mentality keeps people stuck in childhood, never allowing them to make the transition to adulthood. I am in no way trying to diminish the challenges people have encountered, people’s suffering or the wrongs that have been done to people. The only way forward however, is taking full responsibility for your life. 

I have had the privilege of speaking with a number of people over the years that have been abused, neglected, experienced trauma and suffered greatly at the hands of others. The ones, who have been able to move forward and demonstrate what many would refer to as resilience, were the ones who took responsibility for their life and took action. In his book Resilience, Eric Greitens writes that resilience is not about bouncing back, because you can never go back to the way it was, or the way you were, before the trauma. Resilience he says is about moving through: Moving through Hardship to Happiness, Suffering to Strength and Pain to Wisdom. The way to move through is to take full responsibility for your life and to take action.

Passing from childhood to adulthood is a choice that requires a willingness to accept full responsibility for your life and a willingness to be held accountable for your choices, actions and decisions. The sooner we accept that, the sooner we can make the transition. 

What’s Important Now? The journey from childhood to adulthood is a choice. Choose well, Hold Fast and Stay True. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: New Year’s Resolutions are over. Now what?

I am not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I think it is a flawed strategy to plan on making major changes to some aspect of your life on an arbitrary day of the year – January 1. The research shows that a large percentage of people have broken their New Year’s Resolution by the middle of January and most by the end of January. I believe that lasting, impactful change is a result of the creation of the proper mindset to support daily habits and rituals, focused on small incremental improvement, supported by realistic self-talk and built on a foundation of why that change is important to you. 

Below are four books I would recommend you read, or listen to if you do not like to read. If you are not a fan of books in print, electronic or audio format then do a search for talks by the authors of these books. There are a number of talks and interviews by all four online. These books will help you on your journey to better health in 2021 and beyond. 

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

• In this book Clear provides a framework for developing new habits. He is all about striving for small daily improvements (1% per day), which lead to significant improvement over time. He provides research to help you establish lasting habits. 

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker

• Walker is a Professor at the University of California in Berkley and one of the leading experts in the world on sleep. In this book he highlights the link between sleep and health, disease, learning, and almost every other aspect of our lives. While there is still much they do not know about sleep, they do definitively know that sleep deprivation has a huge negative impact on our mental and physical health. 

Why We Get Sick: The Hidden Epidemic at the Root of Most Chronic Disease―and How to Fight It by Benjamin Bikman

• Insulin Resistance is something you have likely heard of in relation to Type 2 Diabetes. What Bikman points out in this book is that the hormone insulin impacts every system in our body andhas an effect on every cell in every tissue of the body. He also talks about the prevalence of insulin resistance in adult populations in almost every country in the world and the link between insulin resistance and disease. In the book Dr. Bikman says, “In fact, insulin resistance is the most common health disorder worldwide, and it affects more people—adults and children—each year than any other.” Insulin resistance is also impacted by lack of sleep. Bikman explains what insulin resistance is, what causes it, how to test for it and how to cure it. 

Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor

• It is easy to take breathing for granted. We do it all day, every day without any conscious thought. How we breathe however, can have a significant impact on our health. If you get nothing else out of this book understand the importance of nasal breathing to your health. You will likely have to make a conscious effort to change your current breathing patterns. The benefits of doing that can be life changing. 

I would recommend starting with Atomic Habits so you have that foundational piece. Then you can work through the other three books in any order you like. As you do, look to create habits around sleep, becoming insulin sensitive and breathing effectively. I strive to only preach what I practice. I have habits and rituals in place around all three of these areas and am continually seeking small incremental improvements in all three areas. 

What’s Important Now? Create habitual behaviors, built on small incremental improvements, in key areas of your life. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com The online Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading workshop was created to help aspiring leaders and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. Subscribe to the weekly blog while you are there. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Selective Ignorance

Two weeks ago I wrote about time as something you do not get to make, but get to decide how to spend. As you are contemplating how to spend, make the best use of and invest your time, it can be helpful to be comfortable with the concept of Selective Ignorance. 

Selective: adjective

• Intentionally choosing some things and not others.

• Careful in choosing

Ignorance: noun

•  the state or fact of being ignorant; lack of knowledge, learning, information, etc.

Ignorant: adjective

• lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned.

• lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact.

• uninformed; unaware.

• due to or showing lack of knowledge or training.

In a 3-2-1 Thursday Newsletter author James Clear challenges us to be "selectively ignorant."

• Ignore topics that drain your attention.

• Unfollow people that drain your energy.

• Abandon projects that drain your time.

• Do not keep up with it all. The more selectively ignorant you become, the more broadly knowledgeable you can be.

It is ok to be selectively ignorant. You have limited time and attention. Suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out) generally results in trying to keep up with everything and everyone by constantly watching and reading the news and spending hours on social media. The result may be that you know a little bit about a lot of things (much of which will add very little to the quality of your life or your work), but there are few areas, if any, where you have a deep knowledge and understanding. For many people the constant news and social media exposure results in a reduced sense of wellbeing, and a sense of doom, gloom and helplessness. 

“In this age of information abundance and overload, those who get ahead will be the folks who figure out what to leave out, so they can concentrate on what’s really important to them. Nothing is more paralyzing than the idea of limitless possibilities.”

Austin Kleon, Steal Like an Artist

Decide what is important to you and where your time and energies are best spent. This does not mean you have to be myopic in your learning and growth. You can still read broadly, have hobbies and have intellectual conversations with people from diverse fields, backgrounds and expertise. Developing a deep level of skill, knowledge and mastery in one or two areas however, requires you to embrace the concept of selective ignorance. 

If you are wondering where to start cutting back, start with mainstream media and social media. Your life will likely not be diminished by being selectively ignorant about most of what is posted on social media or the spin put forward by the media. 

 “If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters—don’t wish to seem knowledgeable.”

Epictetus

What’s Important Now? Accept that it is ok to be selectively ignorant, and move forward with your life. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com  Use the code WINSubscriber to get 10% off the online workshop Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Nothing will change unless we do.

In December a lot of people were talking about how glad they were going to be to put 2020 behind them yet, when the clocks turned over at midnight on December 31, 2020 and the world ushered in 2021, fundamentally nothing changed. COVID was still here. The lockdowns were still here. In most places the gyms were still closed due to COVID restrictions. The economic recession was still here. The groups who were fighting with each other in 2020 were still fighting with each other. Human suffering did not stop. Some people celebrated the birth of a new life and others mourned the loss of a loved one. Those who were hopeful for a better future on December 31 were likely still hopeful. Those who felt a sense of hopelessness on December 31, likely still felt that on January 1. The optimists were still optimistic and the pessimists were still pessimistic. 

Just because little, if anything, changed except the date does not mean that we cannot change. We may not be able to change the world but we can change ourselves, and our small piece of the world. 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way”

Victor E. Frankl

On January 1, 2021 you and I had the same choices we had on December 31, 2020. We can wish things were different, or we can do what we can with what we have and keep or start moving forward. We can whine, or we can do the work. We can step forward into growth or step back into fear. We can take action, or we can make excuses. We can continually talk about how things “used to be” or we can accept the normal of now and move forward. If we are struggling we can reach out and ask for help, or we can choose to suffer in silence.  

“For what then matters is to bear witness the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Victor E. Frankl

 You get to choose your attitude, choose your own way, and choose to change yourself.

 What’s Important Now? Choose wisely. 

 Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com  Use the code WINSubscriber to get 10% off the online workshop Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading.

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W.I.N. Wednesday: You don’t get to make it, but you decide how to spend it.

We use the term “make time”, but the reality is that we all have the same amount of time in a day – 24 hours / 1,440 minutes / 86,400 seconds. You cannot make more time.

 You do however, get to decide how you use, spend, invest, or make use of your time. You make these choices all day, every day. 

 You can invest your time in activities that will enhance your health such as sleep and physical activity. 

 You can invest time in challenging and growing your mind with activities such as reading nonfiction books, learning a new skill or a new language, listening to an educational podcast, engaging in BrainHQ exercises, or engaging in a discussion about a topic of interest to you with someone who knows more about it or thinks differently about it than you do. 

 You can spend time with people who are important to you in order to nurture or growth those relationships. 

 You can spend time relaxing, listening to music or sitting in solitude and thinking, reflecting and pondering. 

You can spend time playing. 

You can spend time creating. That can be writing a blog, a poem, a short story, or 10 pages for your book. It might be creating an online course or an educational or how to video to post on the Internet. 

You can spend time working. Working in your job, in the garden or around the house.

You can make good use of your time, and spend it wisely and intentionally or you can waste it. Once you spend it you cannot get it back. 

What’s Important Now? is a great question to help you decide how to best use, spend and invest your time. Ask it often. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com  Helping future and frontline leaders on their leadership journey. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Real Friends

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Walter Winchell

In today’s “cancel culture” many people are finding out who their real friends are. 

You are connected on Facebook with a few friends, but most of your connections on Facebook are not real friends. 

I have interviewed a few of my friends for The Excellence in Training Academy and the ILEETA Learning Lab, but the fact that people are gracious enough to allow me to interview them does not automatically make them “my good friend”. 

The terms “friend” and “my good friend” are highly over used in today’s world. This is possibly a result of the use of the term “Friend” on Facebook to refer to your connections. A real friend is not just someone who connects with you on a social media platform. 

A real friend is someone who will:

·      Walk with you, while others are walking away. 

·      Stand by you, when others are putting distance between you and them.

·      Stand up for you when others are standing down. 

·      Turn up for you when others are turning away.

·      Be there for you when you are at your lowest. 

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence."

George Washington

Take the time to reflect on how many times in a week you refer to someone as “my friend” or “my good friend”.  Now, ask yourself how many of them are real friends rather than acquaintances, people you are friendly with or simply a connection on social media. 

What’s Important Now? Value your real friends and nurture those relationships. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com  Use the code WINSubscriber to get 10% off the online workshop Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading. 

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W.I.N. Wednesday: Becoming is better than being.

"Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not."

Neil deGrasse Tyson

In today’s world we too often focus completely on the outcome, and miss the journey, the process, the effort and the struggle that led to that outcome. We celebrate the “overnight success”, who took 20 years to achieve that success. We celebrate “natural talent” and miss all the years of practice, study and struggle that went in to making it look “natural”. As a result we often fail to encourage the people who have not succeeded, or not yet succeeded. 

“No matter how much you have achieved, you will always be merely good relative to what you can become. Greatness is an inherently dynamic process, not an end point. The moment you think of yourself as great, your slide toward mediocrity will have already begun.”

Jim Collins, Good to Great and the Social Sectors

When we do succeed and others celebrate that success, it is easy to stop there, soak in the celebration and settle, thinking that we have arrived. When we do that our slide to mediocrity will begin. Why? Because we will stop doing the work, doing the things that got us there.  

“The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.”

Jim Rohn

The key is to focus on effort and process. Celebrate the effort, the journey, the friction, the struggles, the process, the learning and the growth, not just the outcome. 

“Don’t let your now become your ceiling. Becoming is better than being.”
Ryan Hawk, Welcome to Management: How to Grow From Top Performer to Excellent Leader

What’s Important Now? Focus on becoming. Show up. Do the work. Assess, learn, grow, and repeat. 

Take care.

Brian Willis

www.lifesmostpowerfulquestion.com. Maximizing human potential through Life's Most Powerful Question - What's Important Now?

www.daretobegreatleadership.com  Use the code WINSubscriber to get 10% off the online workshop Dare to Be Great: Strategies for Creating a Culture of Leading. 

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